Random Ramblings

Driven wrote:

messiaen77 wrote:

Honestly, I've approached my pastor about some concerns I've had, but only after I have approached the person most immediately in charge of whatever it is.  I also try to always frame everything in terms of trying to understand why things are being done this way or as a concern because that's what it is.  I'm the guy who will voice the concerns I hear from other people (and myself) in order to get answers.  I definitely not the guy who complains about the songs we sing or the where he stands when he preaches or any of the inane things people gripe to the pastor about.

I aspire to this somewhat. I want to voice concerns to get answers in justifiable situations. I feel like I should also be part of the solution at some point, so I'm going to have to learn to step into leadership roles.

I wish more people would learn to ask their church leadership about situations when things are being handled in a way you don't understand or think is right.  Even the scriptures tell us to talk to the brother who offends us.  While what is happening may not be an offense, we can glean that it is better to simply start a conversation with someone if we think something in church is being handled wrongly.  As long as we are seeking truth and not to manipulate or control, that conversation could be a relationship builder with your pastor or leaders.  If people just grumble and complain, that is going to eventually fester until either pastor is fired, gives up and resigns, or the person complaining gets mad/hurt and leaves the church.

alldatndensum wrote:

Your pastor is a woman?  For the most part, you won't hear of that in Tennessee.  Except for a few more liberal congregations, most people here aren't open to that at all.  I am not saying it is wrong--I am just saying that most people here just aren't open to the concept of a woman pastor.

The UMC has ordained women since it started.  Kentucky was pretty much the same way.  My wife's dissertation involved interviewing about 30 of the female UMC clergy in Kentucky.  Some of their stories were downright scary.  Places like Lexington, Louisville, and Covington were more accepting than places like Hazard, Pikeville, and Viper where there is a strong Old Regular Baptist/Primitive Baptist influence.  Although one woman working in Paris was visited by the Klan.

On a semi-related note, I just saw an article about Twitter removing a post arguing for only men being pastors.
https://www.christianpost.com/news/instagram-removes-baptist-ministrys-post-why-only-men-should-be-pastors-apologizes-228578/

Getting ready to fly back down to Texas for Thanksgiving weekend 

Through The Dark Radio wrote:

Getting ready to fly back down to Texas for Thanksgiving weekend 

I assume you are taking Mrs TTDR with you this time (instead of meeting here there).  Safe travels brother.

Through The Dark Radio wrote:

Getting ready to fly back down to Texas for Thanksgiving weekend 

Pace yourself, that way your arms won't get too tired.

Staybrite wrote:

Through The Dark Radio wrote:

Getting ready to fly back down to Texas for Thanksgiving weekend 

I assume you are taking Mrs TTDR with you this time (instead of meeting here there).  Safe travels brother.

Actually, she's still down in Texas since she doesn't have a job up here yet.

While my day at work was good, yesterday afternoon stunk.  I went by my wife's place of business and scraped a parked car with my truck.  I called the cops and made a report.  They paged the guy who owned the car.

What was sad is that this world has changed so much that both the car owner and the cops thanked me for doing the right thing.  We have come to expect people to do their worst and we now have to thank someone for doing what is right?  It made me sad to know that our nation is that pathetic where we no longer expect people to do what is right.

Through The Dark Radio wrote:

Staybrite wrote:

Through The Dark Radio wrote:

Getting ready to fly back down to Texas for Thanksgiving weekend 

I assume you are taking Mrs TTDR with you this time (instead of meeting here there).  Safe travels brother.

Actually, she's still down in Texas since she doesn't have a job up here yet.

Oh gosh!  I had no idea you guys are still living in separate states.  I thought for sure she moved up North with you after the house sold in TX.  Glad you will get to spend some much needed time together.

alldatndensum wrote:

While my day at work was good, yesterday afternoon stunk.  I went by my wife's place of business and scraped a parked car with my truck.  I called the cops and made a report.  They paged the guy who owned the car.

What was sad is that this world has changed so much that both the car owner and the cops thanked me for doing the right thing.  We have come to expect people to do their worst and we now have to thank someone for doing what is right?  It made me sad to know that our nation is that pathetic where we no longer expect people to do what is right.

I salute you for owning up to your mistake. Like you say, too many people chicken out on it.

It sounds like things were solved amicably, too. That's a win.

I guess since I'm back from my Thanksgiving trip, it's time to start putting up the Christmas tree 

Through The Dark Radio wrote:

I guess since I'm back from my Thanksgiving trip, it's time to start putting up the Christmas tree 

Ours is up! We got a fresh cut tree on Wed before Thanksgiving. I didn't feel like going on on Friday this year to get one.

MikeInFla wrote:

Through The Dark Radio wrote:

I guess since I'm back from my Thanksgiving trip, it's time to start putting up the Christmas tree 

Ours is up! We got a fresh cut tree on Wed before Thanksgiving. I didn't feel like going on on Friday this year to get one.

Got the tree up last night . . . . now to put on all of the ornaments . . . ALL. THE. ORNAMENTS. 

My wife put our tree up this weekend.  I'm glad she did, because if it was up to me I wouldn't have done it. 

I went to a small group for probably the first time in 3 years last night.  
It was a really good experience and I'm looking forward to going back.

That's great Staybrite  I need to get into a small group myself and hopefully find one where I'll feel comfortable as part of the group. What kind of people are in the group?

Driven wrote:

That's great Staybrite  I need to get into a small group myself and hopefully find one where I'll feel comfortable as part of the group. What kind of people are in the group?

It's all old people like me! (late 40's to 60's mostly)  Most of them have raised children and a few still have older teens at home.  It sounds like several of them are grandparents.

You might do well to try and find a group of college aged kids.  Might help you feel a bit more comfortable around them knowing you have something in common.  Hopefully there will be another short person in the group.  The leader of the group I just joined has to be within 1/2" of the same ht I am.

I've never gone to a church that used the small group model.  I've always been in a Sunday School class for adults.

alldatndensum wrote:

While my day at work was good, yesterday afternoon stunk.  I went by my wife's place of business and scraped a parked car with my truck.  I called the cops and made a report.  They paged the guy who owned the car.

What was sad is that this world has changed so much that both the car owner and the cops thanked me for doing the right thing.  We have come to expect people to do their worst and we now have to thank someone for doing what is right?  It made me sad to know that our nation is that pathetic where we no longer expect people to do what is right.

DING DING DING...!!!

I couldnt agree more...

alldatndensum wrote:

I've never gone to a church that used the small group model.  I've always been in a Sunday School class for adults.

I might actually get more out of that.  Seems like many of the small groups I have been to (that weren't led by the pastor) end up breaking down into a "feelings-fest" as I call them, or worse slip into something I'm almost certain is heretical.
It seems like pretty hard to find churches in our part of the country that actually have Sunday school classes for adults (the only one I have seen in the last decade was a KJVO church, and I won't be any part of that).

Staybrite wrote:

alldatndensum wrote:

I've never gone to a church that used the small group model.  I've always been in a Sunday School class for adults.

I might actually get more out of that.  Seems like many of the small groups I have been to (that weren't led by the pastor) end up breaking down into a "feelings-fest" as I call them, or worse slip into something I'm almost certain is heretical.
It seems like pretty hard to find churches in our part of the country that actually have Sunday school classes for adults (the only one I have seen in the last decade was a KJVO church, and I won't be any part of that).

My church would prefer for me to be KJVO, but I actually am using the CSB.  It is the updated version of the HCSB that I used to call the "hardcore southern Baptist version" because it was put out by Lifeway.  LOL

I miss my Sun. School class from my old church.  My teacher, Miss Rachel, used more of the Socratic debate version of teaching.  She would let us do the reading of the Scriptures or watch the videos depending on what we were studying.  She would teach a little and then have a lot of questions to spur discussion.  She was a master of redirecting when we would get off course.  I loved the atmosphere and often got more out of the class than I did the regular worship service.

Staybrite wrote:

I might actually get more out of that.  Seems like many of the small groups I have been to (that weren't led by the pastor) end up breaking down into a "feelings-fest" as I call them, or worse slip into something I'm almost certain is heretical.

Exactly.  My current church and previous church do not have small groups but instead "Sunday school" - probably for these very reasons.  The church I attended some years back I was very involved with small groups and at one point was even "leading" two of them.  It was a constant uphill battle to keep people discussing God's Word (which is why we were all there in the first place...) and not themselves.  Of course, heresies and objectively wrong understandings of doctrine would inevitably come up too which was always tricky to address.

That being said, my parents are fervent believers in the small group and that format is central to their understanding of what church is.  They were attending the same church we are, but recently moved to another primarily because this one doesn't have small groups.  Clearly, their experience has been much more positive so maybe there's something there...  And over the years I have been a part of really a really great small group or two - but that was definitely the exception to the rule.

alldatndensum wrote:

Staybrite wrote:

alldatndensum wrote:

I've never gone to a church that used the small group model.  I've always been in a Sunday School class for adults.

It seems like pretty hard to find churches in our part of the country that actually have Sunday school classes for adults (the only one I have seen in the last decade was a KJVO church, and I won't be any part of that).

My church would prefer for me to be KJVO, but I actually am using the CSB.  It is the updated version of the HCSB that I used to call the "hardcore southern Baptist version" because it was put out by Lifeway.  LOL

I certainly don't mind people who prefer the King James version, but I draw the line at insisting that it is the only God anointed version of the bible and that all other translations are heretical.  Personally I am left completely baffled when I read much of anything from the King James, and could not use one for my regular bible reading.

kerrick wrote:

Staybrite wrote:

I might actually get more out of that.  Seems like many of the small groups I have been to (that weren't led by the pastor) end up breaking down into a "feelings-fest" as I call them, or worse slip into something I'm almost certain is heretical.

Exactly.  My current church and previous church do not have small groups but instead "Sunday school" - probably for these very reasons.  The church I attended some years back I was very involved with small groups and at one point was even "leading" two of them.  It was a constant uphill battle to keep people discussing God's Word (which is why we were all there in the first place...) and not themselves.  Of course, heresies and objectively wrong understandings of doctrine would inevitably come up too which was always tricky to address.

That being said, my parents are fervent believers in the small group and that format is central to their understanding of what church is.  They were attending the same church we are, but recently moved to another primarily because this one doesn't have small groups.  Clearly, their experience has been much more positive so maybe there's something there...  And over the years I have been a part of really a really great small group or two - but that was definitely the exception to the rule.

Overall I still think the small group model is good, but only if it is rooted in diving deeper into God's word.  And by "God's Word" I mean the bible, not some flavor of the day Christian self-help book (which most of the groups I have been in seem to gravitate towards).
While it is important for people to share personal things (it helps foster deeper relationships and can show God working in people's lives), it can very quickly derail the group into a "feelings-fest".
I have assisted in small groups before, but never actually lead one myself.  I'm not at all sure I would have the patience for that.

^I hear ya.  It ALL depends on the make-up of the group.  The leader(s) is/are there to help facilitate the group but ultimately if the group is made up of people who genuinely want to discuss Scripture, that'll happen.  And if it's made up of people (or even if there's just one person) who want to use it as a support group to discuss their feelings, that'll happen.  I had this one woman who would hijack literally every comment and turn it about herself, and share the SAME stories over and over and over again...  She meant well, but it was quite painful.


"And by "God's Word" I mean the bible, not some flavor of the day Christian self-help book"
AMEN.  My goodness how I hate how "the church" has largely devolved into this self-centered means to "your best life now" instead of seeking to glorify our awesome Creator and Savior.