Taking the "poetic" out of songs

I know I'm late to this conversation - somehow I missed it.

I think we need the poetic stuff sometimes. i know it can seem like puffery or silly, but the entire book of Psalms is poetry praising God, and a majority of Job and all of Song of Solomon is poetry. Heck, Saul got ticked off when the women sang David's acclaim in poetic language.

My point is yes, sometimes a song needs to just say what it needs to say. But sometimes we need the creative expression as well.

I don't think that Jim or any of the rest of us really want to do away with all poetic expression.  I think we need to do away with overly used tripe that are just tired.

It has been fun, though, thinking about ways to write a love song without those comparisons.



My next work:  I Love You, But Don't Make Me Watch A Chick Flick

Anyone wish to get in on sculpting this masterpiece?

I hear ya. There's extremes to everything.

I do like the prospect of the new song:

Take more of the blanket while we're in bed
I'll take care of you, when you have pain in your head
Share my ice cream, here have a lick
I love you so, but don't make me watch another chick flick

Sitting on the couch, remote lies there between us.
Thinking about a movie cuz I can't watch any reruns.
Action or adventure, maybe a thriller flick sounds good.
You know I love you baby but I don't think that I could...

Watch another chick flick
Please don't make me girl
Watch another chick flick
Cuz it'll make me hurl.

(Okay, maybe that's a little over the top)

I have a riff for the "Chick Flick" song already working.  LOL


V1:
I know you like to cuddle
Hop on the couch with me
I'll turn the lights down low
And I'll turn on my tv
I think I'll watch the "X-men"
That's how I spend my nights
You flip to "Gone With The Wind"
That's when we started to fight!

Chorus:
You know I love you, baby
But right now you're making me sick
I can put up with most anything
But don't make me watch a chick flick

V2:
You can hog all the blankets
You can even take most of the bed
You can wear my shirts
Or even take the hat off my head
You can go out with your girlfriends
Or spend our very last dime
But, baby, there is just one place
Where I'm gonna have to draw the line

Chorus:
You know I love you, baby
But right now you're making me sick
I can put up with most anything
But don't make me watch a chick flick

Bridge:
I don't want to be so mean
or come of like some shnook
But our relationship's over
if you make me watch "The Notebook"

The satirist is you is coming out!  Sounds cool

Now there's a word you don't see too often . . . "schnook"

Through The Dark Radio wrote:

Now there's a word you don't see too often . . . "schnook"

I had to use a rhyming dictionary and then ran the word through Dictionary.com to make sure I was using it correctly.  Its a legit word.

Staybrite wrote:

The satirist is you is coming out!  Sounds cool

Satire is just sarcasm with a longer attention span. 

I'm just writing whatever comes to me right now.  I'd like to have a few more of my more tradional lyrical pieces to put to music, but this is what is coming.  So, I may actually do that EP idea and just record the satire songs.  That might work for an album name, too.  "Satire Songs" or "Night Of The Living Satire".

I am still toying with the super glue song.  I also have something in mind for a meme I saw on Facebook.  It had a picture of a very spoiled looking cat saying, "As long as I get everything I want, then I'm totally flexible!"

Just to clarify, I don't have a problem with "song poetry" and the exaggerations that come with it... I just started this thread as a joke. To get a couple laughs out of changing the poetic parts back to reality - changing "I would climb the highest mountain for you" to "I would walk 3 blocks for your love"... just seems more realistic and makes me laugh.
But no, this thread is not serious.

It isn't?  You mean I wrote those other two songs for nothing?  Now I will have to completely rethink my life goals.  Wait--maybe I should set some first!

Anyone want to help with the "supergluing your mouth shut" idea?

How about the "as long as I get everything I want, I am totally flexible" idea?

I could also call the EP, if I do it, "The Satire Strikes Back".  LOL

I'd be happy to lend a hand!

What I need right now are phrases about people who are haughty and spoiled.  I can work from there.

With the super glue story, I just need to keep making things up and "adding" to what really happened.

alldatndensum wrote:

What I need right now are phrases about people who are haughty and spoiled.  I can work from there.

You could parody songs like that one that goes
"Shouldn't I have this, shouldn't I have all of this and passionate kisses"
Or that one about the person being so vain that they 
"probably think this song is about them"

I don't even know which songs you are referring to, Jim. 


I'd like to keep these as original as possible.

Guilty/Forgiven wrote:

Or that one about the person being so vain that they 
"probably think this song is about them"

Your So Vain - Carly Simon

I never liked Carly Simon.  Apologetix even did a rendition of that song and I don't like it, either.  I have their newest MP3s of the new CD coming and don't like it at all.

Tell me what you think :

COMPLETELY FLEXIBLE

V1.
Some folks think that I'm spoiled rotten
I just have eccentric needs
I only want whatever I see
I wouldn't call that greed
I don't expect anyone to worship me
Simple praise and gifts are great
I'd hate to tell you how awesome I am
But I feel that I should educate!

Chorus:
You may think that I'm a little brash
Or totally detestable 
But as long as I get everything I want,
I'm completely flexible 

V2:
I don't feel that I am all puffed up
I'm really quite humble, you see
It hurts when I'm called egotistical 
'Cause there is no one better than me
Just keep your opinions to yourself 
Because I am always right
So excuse me if I keep repeating myself
If its true, then you can't call it trite

There a couple of lines that need tweaking on this.  The chorus came first and doesn't quite fit the feel of the verses.  I am open to suggestions.

Made a couple adjustments to the lyrics above.  It flows better and takes care of some repetitve phrases.

Xid wrote:

Guilty/Forgiven wrote:

Or that one about the person being so vain that they 
"probably think this song is about them"

Your So Vain - Carly Simon

Every time I hear that song I think of my old college buddy Darrel Frame...we used to sing that part as "You're so Frame, I bet you think this song is about you".
Of course he wanted to use the Scorpions classic as his theme song....you know the one "Here I am, rock you like a Darrel Frame"

Ahhh, good times.

See, I thought you were talking about "I Would Do Anything For Love" Meat Loaf, not the tasty meaty meal.