Random Ramblings

Why does eating/food/hunger/satiety/fullness have to be so scary? It's right up there with P.T. and Bunker 16. 

GUYS! I have great news! June 19-26 2015 is Cephalopod Week.  

I love cephalopods.

"Eat until you're satisfied."

Me: *feels a little more "allowed" to eat*


I need help.

Been a while. Life is stressful right now. Be back soon.

xenonlion wrote:

"Eat until you're satisfied."

Me: *feels a little more "allowed" to eat*


I need help.

What you need to do is train your mind. I've known people that would try to quit smoking and they'd walk around saying "I need a cigarette", until they failed and started smoking again. The on the other hand, a good buddy of mine quit smoking, and the whole time he was struggling he would refuse to think that he needed a cigarette.

I know it's easy to say, especially when I'm on the outside. But rather than focusing on feeling like you need to binge eat, or whatever it is you do, do something else to train your mind otherwise. Of course, disorders aren't really the same as addictions, but I think to some degree the principle is the same. I have a tendency to get depressed, and regardless of whether it's a "clinical" thing or just being "in a funk", when it happens I have to concentrate on NOT being depressed. It's the old cliche: "count your blessings" ... something really tough to do when you feel like life sucks ... but it works. That, and prayer!

How's the counseling going?  Have you been yet?

The counseling is going well. My therapist wants me to also see a nutritionist and she's going to ask my doctor about it. Since I've been eating more now, my body has been using it up and it makes me nervous when I get hungry. I know my mind will have to change in one way or another. That's why it's called a mental illness. I think seeing a nutritionist or dietitian will be really helpful because I don't know how much I'm supposed to eat. I also have foods that make me nervous more than others. Eating in general is kinda nerve-wracking. It's weird how I get hungry even after eating more. I used to eat 700-800 in a day. I still don't eat enough, though, even if I feel like I'm out of control. :/ I need help finding a balance. I tend to restrict or feel like im out of control. I've never had a real binge, just eating while nervous and feeling like I'm out of control when my body really needs what I'm eating.

At your age, girl, you could easily take your caloric uptake up to around 1200 calories a day if you were eating the right things.

There's nothing like having a diabetic cat to make life more complicated.

alldatndensum wrote:

At your age, girl, you could easily take your caloric uptake up to around 1200 calories a day if you were eating the right things.

The great thing is that I eat more than 800 now. I don't know exactly how much. I don't know what you mean by if I eat the right things. Generally, I eat pretty healthily. The difficulty of increasing my intake definitely depends on what I'm eating. Some foods I don't even think about eating because they make me nervous. Other foods, I feel safe with and won't mind eating if I eat them in amounts I feel safe with. I want to be more flexible and open-minded with food. I don't want food to dictate my life, cause me to have fear, or potentially ruin relationships.

BearDad wrote:

There's nothing like having a diabetic cat to make life more complicated.

When I was in middle school, I had a teacher with a diabetic pet.

Nothing quite like a leisurely drive down a twisty and scenic route. Was out and about with my parents, who came up to visit for my graduation ceremony, and we decided to spend a bit of time driving around.

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!!!!!!

Driven wrote:

Nothing quite like a leisurely drive down a twisty and scenic route. Was out and about with my parents, who came up to visit for my graduation ceremony, and we decided to spend a bit of time driving around.

That sounds like fun.  Driving is very thrilling.

Driving was thrilling when I was 15 to around age 30.  Since then, it is a necessary evil to get me from point A to point B.  I wish I had been born extremely wealthy so I could have a full time chauffeur.  Then, I would only drive when it was for fun.

alldatndensum wrote:

Driving was thrilling when I was 15 to around age 30.  Since then, it is a necessary evil to get me from point A to point B.  I wish I had been born extremely wealthy so I could have a full time chauffeur.  Then, I would only drive when it was for fun.

Yes. I agree.

Here is something else that isn't fun - waited on Lowe's all day yesterday to deliver a new refrigerator. It's a pain in the rear to begin with because you gotta get all your food and diary into something else (in my case a Yeti cooler). I thought it would be a breeze, just put the stuff in the Yeti and it will stay cold for days. That IS true, however they are much smaller on the inside than they look! So I was able to get all the diary, milk, ice cream into it. (and it did stay cold, but ice cream is soft). Anyway, 4pm yesterday I call Lowe's to check the status. Whoops, the forgot all deliveries are done for the day. I was aggravated to say the least because I was off and we stayed home all day, other than church because of the delivery. So by the time they call me back it is 5:30 pm. They want to deliver "sometime Mon or Tues and we are sorry". NO GO! I need it now, we have already prepared and I had already pulled the old one out from the wall and cleaned the wall, in fact painted it because it was so dirty. I decided to go pick it up myself! So I went to Lowe's the loaded it up, I demanded the use of a dolly and straps which the provided. I asked for them to knock some off the price and they said "yeah when you return the dolly". So I hope this afternoon they come thru on their side of the deal. 

Anyway, They load it up, and this sucker is HUGE! I call a coworker to help me and felt so bad for bothering him while he had his kids (he's going thru a divorce). By the time he gets there I have lost light. 8:30 pm now. Then we realize its TOO BIG to get thru the door!! Argh!!!!!!!!!!!! My Incredible Hulk moment for the day, I was waiting for my clothes to start shredding. We had to take it apart, take the doors off and get it in. Luckily he had done this before and took the doors off in about 3 minutes. Get it in the kitchen and get it plugged in, get doors installed and then the water line didn't quite fit. Luckily he fixed it too. The bad thing is it as to run on setting 3 (middle) for 24 hours. Thats a pain because that isn't cold enough. We take the old fridge and load it in my truck where it sits now. My friend said take it to the scrap yard and get $20 out of it and don't give it to Lowe's because they would just scrap it too.   

So he leaves and I look it over, very nice, much bigger than what we had so I go ahead (even tho it said wait 2-3 hours before putting food in) and put some stuff in, Juice, cheese and turn ice maker on. This freed up some space in the Yeti. By this time it was 10pm and I was dead tired, hot and not in a good mood. This morning at 3:30 I open freezer and see ice in the tray... Good, this means 1. It makes ice and 2. it is cool enough for ice cream. So i take the frozen stuff out of Yeti and load it up. While I am doing this I hear another tray of ice drop, so that much is working. Fridge still too warm but again it is setting 3, right in the middle. Only thing in the yeti now is milk and 4-5 cans of soda for my daughter to drink.... And I did drink some juice this AM out of the fridge. It wasn't hot, but it wasn't cold either. Hoping it will level out as the day goes on.  HEADACHE! I don't wish it on anyone, Lowe's dropped the ball.  I am just glad it is over for now (I hope!!!!!!!).

messiaen77 wrote:

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!!!!!!

Bring out the comfy chair!!!

I have seen Rush live. That's one thing crossed off my bucket list. I went with my brother and dad, which was an awesome Father's Day moment.

I've never seen Rush.  Of course, I never really cared for their music.  For the most part, I just didn't find it all that accessible.  They are great musicians, but they just didn't write great hooks.

You're older than you've ever been and now you're older still.

Through The Dark Radio wrote:

You're older than you've ever been and now you're older still.

That is so hard for me to accept since I was born so young.

I'm leaving for a trip down south tomorrow. I don't really want to go because I'm anxious, but whatever. The best part will be dozing off in the car.

Ain't nothing wrong with the south.

xenonlion wrote:

I'm leaving for a trip down south tomorrow. I don't really want to go because I'm anxious, but whatever. The best part will be dozing off in the car.

Where'd you go?  Were the people as scary as you thought?  Not everyone was wearing their gun open carry and I doubt you saw churches having "God hates homosexual" rallies.  That is what the rest of the country thinks of most anyone outside of Atlanta or some of the cities in Florida.