Jeff Foxworthy anyone???

Quote :

Harold has received a temporary stay of execution. I got a call to go back to work for a few days. The guns are ready though for my next night at home.....

Umm....don't you mean the pet bed, brush and squeak toy?

There we go again.

♫♪ ♫♪
Go, Greased Lightnin'

You're burnin' up the quarter mile

Greased Lightnin', go Greased Lightnin'

Go Greased Lightnin' ♫♪ ♫♪

A dead possum is flat, very flat.

This thread just keeps getting funnier and funnier.

Got a new Avatar for you once you get the critter:

apologetixfreak wrote:

This one's my favorite dead possum pic

thats great dude. never seen that before

I have been paying a little extra attention to the grammar, punctuation and capitalization in this thread. I can't help but wonder if there are any home schooled peeps here that failed the above listed courses.....?

BTW, I am home for a couple of nights. I will set a trap for the varmint tomorrow (Sat.) and with any luck, there will be a Christian funeral service at my church on Sunday morning.

DIE YOU VERMIN ! ! ! ! !

You ain't mockin my righting are ya ? Cuz I wuz at the tawp of my klass you no !

Quote :

BTW, I am home for a couple of nights. I will set a trap for the varmint tomorrow (Sat.) and with any luck, there will be a Christian funeral service at my church on Sunday morning.

What happened to Mr. Tough Guy "I'm gonna shoot the possum in my kitchen"? I bet you got one of those girly "catch & release" traps so as to not hurt Harold. I'm betting that you'll release him and see if he comes home. Then, you'll get him his own recliner chair with his name embroidered on it. "If you love something, let it go. If it returns, it is yours."

I waited for two hours to put a bullet in his skull last night. He stayed away. I will try again tonight, and maybe some graphic, bloody pics tomorrow.

Sabidoo, this is the final goodbye song from Harold Possom for you before he meets the .25.



♪♫ ♪♫ ♪♫

I know I'm just a fool who's willin'
to sit around and wait for you.
But, baby, can't you see
there's nothin' else for me to do?


I'm hopelessly devoted to you.


But now theres no where to hide

since you pushed my love aside.
I'm out of my head,
hopelessly devoted to you,
hopelessly devoted to you,
hopelessly devoted to you. ♪♫ ♪♫

Dis thrEadd iz out of KontRol.

I dun't seee aNy gRammur or caPituliZation proLums eether?
U muSt Bee hollusunating, maybee their izn't even a posSum at all?

After smoking crack and shooting some LSD laced heroin, it was probably only a ladybug walking across a shoelace.

Did you export poor Harold up here??? I chased a possum into my garage when I drove in tonight.

topshot rhit wrote:

Did you export poor Harold up here??? I chased a possum into my garage when I drove in tonight.

hehehe

I don't think that you will do it. Right now, I bet your thinking about why Harold didn't come home and singing Hopelessly Devoted To You:

Quote :

Guess mine is not the first heart broken,
my eyes are not the first to cry

I'm not the first to know,
there's just no gettin' over you
Hello, I'm just a fool who's willing
to sit around and wait for you
But baby can't you see, there's nothin' else for me to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you

But now there's nowhere to hide,
since you pushed my love aside
I'm not in my head,
hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you,
hopelessly devoted to you

My head is saying "fool, forget him",
my heart is saying "don't let go"
Hold on to the end, that's what I intend to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you

But now there's nowhere to hide,
since you pushed my love aside
I'm not in my head,
hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you,
hopelessly devoted to you

shut up :P

The vermin stayed away all weekend...I have 3-4 days off later this week so MAYBE he will die SOOOOOON!

I think the Possum is the "One that he wants"

Quote :

....and my heart is set on you
You better shape up, you better understand,
to my heart I must be true
Nothing left, nothing left for me to do

Chorus:
You're the one that I want
(you are the one I want), ooh ooh ooh, honey
The one that I want (you are the one I want),
ooh ooh ooh, honey
The one that I want (you are the one I want),
ooh ooh ooh, honey
The one I need (the one I need),
oh yes indeed (yes indeed)

If you're filled with affection,
You're too shy to convey
Meditate my direction, feel your way

Yoo hoo hoo the one that I want.

But when .....

I am beginning to think that Sabidoo and Harold will "Always Be Together:.

Quote :

We go together like ramma lamma lamma ka dinga da dinga dong
Remembered forever as shoo-bop sha whada whadda yippidy boom da boom
Chang chang changity chang shoo bop that's the way it should be
Waooo Yeah

We're one of a kind like dip da dip da dip do whap de dobby do
Our names are signed boogedy boogedy boogedy boogedy shooby do wap shoo bop
Chang chang changity chang shoo bop we'll always be like one
Wa-wa-wa-one

I have the same idea.

If you know it, come on and sing along !!!

"Possum Frights" (sung to the tune of "Summer Nights")

(Darren)
That little Possum, came in the back

(Possum)
I am the Possum, came for a snack

(Darren)
I met the possum, cute as can be

(Possum)
I met a man, angry was he

(Darren)
Gunshot holes, all through the house, oh oh oh where is he now ?

(CHM Bunch)
Well-a well-a well-a huh
Tell me more, tell me more
Did you blow him away ?

(Possum's bunch)
Tell me more, tell me more
With his gun can he aim ?

(Darren)
He ran by me, scared me to death

(Possum)
He tried to shoot me, that's what I guess

(Darren)
I'll take his life, Poison for him

(Possum)
He gave me food, the lights growing dim

(Darren)
He ate poison, all 3 boxes, oh oh oh why won't he die ?

(CHM Bunch)
Tell me more, tell me more
Have you taken his life ?

(Possum's bunch)
Tell me more, tell me more
Has he got a knife ?

To Be Continued....

That has got to be the FUNNIEST thing I have ever read on the internet. I am typing this through tears caused by laughter.

The other truckers in this truckstop are looking at me like I am weirder than normal.

THANKS for the lyrics!










p.s. I HOPE YOU GET HEMMOROIDS IN YOUR FACE