I Survived My Daughter's Wedding!

Oh wow, what a whirlwind of a weekend.  My daughter married the man she has been living with for the last 3-1/2 years this weekend.  I am exhausted (and completely wiped out financially).  But the ceremony and reception went really well.  Unfortunately I don't have much in the way of pictures (I was just too busy to take any).  So when/if I find a picture of me and Mrs Staybrite I will post it.  Here are a couple that friends and family have taken.

My daughter and her husband with the pastor.



Wedding Cake!!!  The groom and bride on top of the cake were first used for my wife's parents wedding (back in 1966).  My wife and I also used it for our wedding (in 1986).



My youngest grandson approved of the wedding cake.

Very nice!

That's neat that they used the same topper 

Through The Dark Radio wrote:

That's neat that they used the same topper 

My wife is guarding the thing with her life.    It has already been broken twice (only superficially).  The tiny bouquet the bride is holding on it was actually added before our wedding because the arm had broken (it's porcelain...or possibly even ceramic).  Mrs. Staybrite is bound and determined that it get used at least once for the next generation.

Super cool bro ! Yeh, it's a stressful nightmare and financial flogging, but after the dust settles, it's nice to know that all went well and that they've made that commitment 

I am glad the day went well.  Now, cut them off financially so you can have a couple of bucks to retire on!

Xid wrote:

Very nice!

Thanks!

Guilty/Forgiven wrote:

Super cool bro ! Yeh, it's a stressful nightmare and financial flogging, but after the dust settles, it's nice to know that all went well and that they've made that commitment 

I'm praying daily they will go the distance.  I know it seems even harder for couples nowadays.  

alldatndensum wrote:

I am glad the day went well.  Now, cut them off financially so you can have a couple of bucks to retire on!

Absolutely!!! 

Glad your daughter is married now.
The wedding cake looks beautiful.

I love the pic of your yongest grandson eating from the wedding cake.

Looks like a very nice wedding.

Gary, I can't remember, do your daughter and her husband consider themselves Christians?  It's tough knowing how to properly celebrate the wedding of a loved one when one or both aren't saved and/or living like they're saved.  I can imagine how exhausting that might be, let alone all the other wedding planning/coordinating stresses.  I'm glad you made it out alive!  Was there a lot of family there?

kerrick wrote:

Looks like a very nice wedding.

Gary, I can't remember, do your daughter and her husband consider themselves Christians?  It's tough knowing how to properly celebrate the wedding of a loved one when one or both aren't saved and/or living like they're saved.  I can imagine how exhausting that might be, let alone all the other wedding planning/coordinating stresses.  I'm glad you made it out alive!  Was there a lot of family there?

My daughter was raised a Christian and still considers herself very much a child of Christ (even if her actions don't say so sometimes).  Her new husband was raised a Mormon, but left the faith.  They have both been attending a local (Christian) church regularly for the last two years and profess a faith in Jesus.  Their pastor of the last two years officiated their wedding.
My youngest boy has always loved Jesus, and thankfully asks me questions anytime one of his friends tries to deter him in his faith.  He has a learning disability so hasn't read much of anything (let alone the bible).  Now my middle child doesn't believe any of that religious stuff.  I continue to pray for him pretty much daily.

As for marrying couples when one (or neither) profess faith in Christ...I really don't think it matters.  I believe Paul addressed this when he told new Christians not to leave their unbelieving spouses.  I think God holds all of us to our vows of faith to each other (under him)....if we believe in him as our Lord or not. 

A couple more pictures you all might like to see.  These are from my wife and the official wedding photographer (who did a great job considering she is an amateur).

Here is another shot of the couple.



And the parents of the bride (dang are we getting old or what?!)

Very good pictures!  Nah you two look great.  

Staybrite wrote:

kerrick wrote:

Looks like a very nice wedding.

Gary, I can't remember, do your daughter and her husband consider themselves Christians?  It's tough knowing how to properly celebrate the wedding of a loved one when one or both aren't saved and/or living like they're saved.  I can imagine how exhausting that might be, let alone all the other wedding planning/coordinating stresses.  I'm glad you made it out alive!  Was there a lot of family there?

My daughter was raised a Christian and still considers herself very much a child of Christ (even if her actions don't say so sometimes).  Her new husband was raised a Mormon, but left the faith.  They have both been attending a local (Christian) church regularly for the last two years and profess a faith in Jesus.  Their pastor of the last two years officiated their wedding.
My youngest boy has always loved Jesus, and thankfully asks me questions anytime one of his friends tries to deter him in his faith.  He has a learning disability so hasn't read much of anything (let alone the bible).  Now my middle child doesn't believe any of that religious stuff.  I continue to pray for him pretty much daily.

As for marrying couples when one (or neither) profess faith in Christ...I really don't think it matters.  I believe Paul addressed this when he told new Christians not to leave their unbelieving spouses.  I think God holds all of us to our vows of faith to each other (under him)....if we believe in him as our Lord or not. 

Gotcha.  I'm surprised their pastor married them if he knew they were living together.  The reason I ask is that someone close to me who was living with her fiancee recently got married to him.  The parallels are striking actually...  She considers herself a Christian and he possibly does, but they've both been going to church, etc.  Anyways, I've been processing a lot with regards to their actions/unrepentant sin pattern, what it means to be a follower of Christ, my own sin history, God's grace and mercy but also His righteous judgment, the sheep and the goats, loving admonishment, etc.  With such a similar situation, I was curious if you had been thinking through some of the same things.  Anyways, I'm glad to hear everything went well and I hope their marriage will be used by God for great things in His kingdom!  Coming up on our second anniversary, I am beginning to understand what people mean by marriage being a sanctifying experience. 

Very nice pictures.

Great photos!  Time flies, doesn't it!

kerrick wrote:

Gotcha.  I'm surprised their pastor married them if he knew they were living together.  The reason I ask is that someone close to me who was living with her fiancee recently got married to him.  The parallels are striking actually...  She considers herself a Christian and he possibly does, but they've both been going to church, etc.  Anyways, I've been processing a lot with regards to their actions/unrepentant sin pattern, what it means to be a follower of Christ, my own sin history, God's grace and mercy but also His righteous judgment, the sheep and the goats, loving admonishment, etc.  With such a similar situation, I was curious if you had been thinking through some of the same things.  Anyways, I'm glad to hear everything went well and I hope their marriage will be used by God for great things in His kingdom!  Coming up on our second anniversary, I am beginning to understand what people mean by marriage being a sanctifying experience. 

I let both my daughter and her boyfriend (at the time...now husband).  That I wasn't at all happy with them living together (and obviously fornicating) prior to being married.  I told them that God didn't condone it either.  I think people need to save themselves for marriage (although I wasn't a Christian as a young man and certainly did not save myself for marriage).

However, lets look at the logic of a pastor/church refusing to marry a couple because they are living together.  What is the pastor/church saying by not marrying people who are very likely living in sin?  "Go ahead and just keep sinning because the church (and by default God) is never going to recognize your union because you didn't save your self for marriage"  This seems a bit preposterous, but that's the message those pastor's (churches) send to many of those people (and we wonder why young people are leaving the church in droves).  Should the couple who wants to get married move away from each other and abstain from fornication for some period of time before they get married so later they can be properly married in the church?  Like somehow their purity will be restored by abstinence?  This smacks of "works over faith" to me.  The only thing that will convict the unmarried who are engaging in fornication to repent is the holy spirit.  I fail to see how not allowing them to get married by a pastor/church is going to punish them into repenting.  Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't see the logic in that at all.  It's like telling someone who isn't a Christian that they can't come to your church and they can never get married unless they become a Christian first.

Quote :

However, lets look at the logic of a pastor/church refusing to marry a couple because they are living together.  What is the pastor/church saying by not marrying people who are very likely living in sin?  "Go ahead and just keep sinning because the church (and by default God) is never going to recognize your union because you didn't save your self for marriage"  This seems a bit preposterous, but that's the message those pastor's (churches) send to many of those people (and we wonder why young people are leaving the church in droves).  Should the couple who wants to get married move away from each other and abstain from fornication for some period of time before they get married so later they can be properly married in the church?  Like somehow their purity will be restored by abstinence?  This smacks of "works over faith" to me.  The only thing that will convict the unmarried who are engaging in fornication to repent is the holy spirit.  I fail to see how not allowing them to get married by a pastor/church is going to punish them into repenting.  Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't see the logic in that at all.  It's like telling someone who isn't a Christian that they can't come to your church and they can never get married unless they become a Christian first.

I have sat under pastors that were like this that would not marry couples "living in sin".  I used to be of the same mindset.  However, if they are living together and decide to marry, I look at that nowadays that they are repenting and wanting to do things the right way.  So, I will do the ceremony.  Perhaps in doing so, we will paint a positive view of the church and of Jesus.  I only do religious ceremonies, so I am going to get to present a small taste of the gospel if they are coming to me for marriage.

Marriage by the church has an interesting history some of you might not be aware of. In bible times, marriage did not involve a ceremony. Marriage was a couple living together at the consent of the girl's father. That was lawful marriage. That was the only sort of marriage. The church was not involved. It was an agreement between families.

The original purpose of being married publicly at/by the church was so that the ceremony took place before the whole community. If the marriage was made public, it would ensure that there was no future question to its validity. This offered stability to each party (especially the woman so the man couldn't shirk his duty at the first sight of a sweeter prospect). Marriage was not, however, considered invalid in the eyes of the church when couples exchanged vows privately. It was frowned upon, yes, but as long as a couple considered themselves "married in the sight of God" they were married.

Back in the 1600s the state started taxing marriage and the church started penalizing clergymen for every parishioner who was not officially married by the church. Hmm. Convenient little money grab there. Those were some motivated clergy!

I am sure there are many couples who are unmarried who live in sin. But how do we know what is in their hearts? Only God knows what is in our hearts. Are they married in the sight of God?

Beautiful photos, Staybrite. I love that the groom wears keds. It's a wee peek into his personality. Shows his individuality. Gorgeous

Jen5 wrote:

Beautiful photos, Staybrite. I love that the groom wears keds. It's a wee peek into his personality. Shows his individuality. Gorgeous

The whole wedding party wore those shoes (including me and my wife).  Despite my education we are a very "blue collar" family.  The ones the girls were wearing were covered in sparkles (the brides were pink).  It was fun, and nobodies feet hurt at the end of the day!

No pictures of the groom's cake?

For the record, the groom's cakes that my wife and I had at our wedding were made to look like hockey pucks.  One had the logo of the Fort Worth Fire and the other had the logo of the Houston Aeros.

Through The Dark Radio wrote:

No pictures of the groom's cake?

For the record, the groom's cakes that my wife and I had at our wedding were made to look like hockey pucks.  One had the logo of the Fort Worth Fire and the other had the logo of the Houston Aeros.

The "groom's cake" is kind of a funny story.  They had no plans to have one (they were trying to keep the wedding under $6K).  I wasn't invited to the cake testing (actually I had to baby sit my grandsons).  My wife brought me back several small samples of the cake they had tasted and I really liked the spice cake. Turns out they weren't going to use that in the wedding cake so I asked if they could make a small cake but not use the cream cheese frosting (I can't have much cheese).  I insisted they call it the "Grooms New Father-In-Law Cake".  Somehow that got translated into "Gary can't have much frosting and put his name on the cake".  Kind of a bummer because I love frosting.  So the sad little cake pictured below stood in as the "grooms cake".  My older grandson Boston got so excited about the cake cutting that he insisted on cutting it himself (without being asked to).  The picture of the little guy at the first post in this discussion is also eating from my cake.  The kids loved it.

Staybrite wrote:

Jen5 wrote:

Beautiful photos, Staybrite. I love that the groom wears keds. It's a wee peek into his personality. Shows his individuality. Gorgeous

The whole wedding party wore those shoes (including me and my wife).  Despite my education we are a very "blue collar" family.  The ones the girls were wearing were covered in sparkles (the brides were pink).  It was fun, and nobodies feet hurt at the end of the day!

How gorgeous is that! Love it!

Grooms cake??? Now that's something I've never heard of.

Jen5 wrote:

Grooms cake??? Now that's something I've never heard of.

I always thought it was a U.S. tradition.  The wedding cake being expensive, and wedding parties can be quite large...  Many weddings here in the U.S. the couple will keep the top tier of their wedding cake and freeze it, to eat later on their 1st anniversary.  If the guest list is large there might not be enough wedding cake for everyone...so I thought they started adding a "groom's cake" to help feed all the sugar ravenous obese Americans.  Traditionally it would be a simple sheet cake (at least that's what I saw years ago).  
Turns out it started as a British tradition (if you can trust wikipedia).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groom%27s_cake

Seems like in recent years they are an excuse to do some wild or original looking (and often tasting) cakes.  There is a famous scene in the movie Steel Magnolias where they have a grooms cake that is red velvet and shaped like an armadillo.