Marriage Question

Do you think you would find it difficult to be married to a person who has the same non-emotional logic only personality that Mr. Spock has on star trek?

If the sex were good enough to last me for 7 years, then maybe!!! 


Truthfully, there would be both advantages and disadvantages to living with someone emotionally like Spock.  Logic and reason would always be how they dealt with you.  So, arguments would not happen frequently.  Sadly, if your spouse was correcting you, then you could be pretty sure that it was your fault as they had already thought the whole process through.  Also, without the showing of emotion, it would be difficult to know if they really cared for you.

I think I'd better ask this to any woman interested in me (assuming there are any). Although I've never seen Spock in action (shameful, I know), I imagine I must share something of an impersonal nature. Particularly when I'm working, I tend to not care about people as people, and treat them either as obstacles or as things that can do things. In fact, the only time where I let passion get the better of me is when someone doesn't think before saying anything, and then my anger makes me participate in the folly of doing so. I'm a mess, I know...

As to whether I could make it with someone unemotional... I don't know. If I'm honest, I don't want someone completely unemotional, but I don't want to have to try and control an impulsive person.

Savage Amusement wrote:

Do you think you would find it difficult to be married to a person who has the same non-emotional logic only personality that Mr. Spock has on star trek?

Yes, I do.  Emotion is a vital element of humanity.  Without emotion it is impossible to empathize and I would imagine it would be quite difficult to have fun.

If I had to marry someone in the Star Trek realm I would definitely pick an Orion Woman.



And check out this fan made video! Very cool and very true to the original! And includes a special guest star who is also known for his brute strength and wearing green make-up! (Don't wanna ruin it for you but you know who I am talking about!). It is a very well done show.

Driven wrote:

I think I'd better ask this to any woman interested in me (assuming there are any). Although I've never seen Spock in action (shameful, I know), I imagine I must share something of an impersonal nature. Particularly when I'm working, I tend to not care about people as people, and treat them either as obstacles or as things that can do things. In fact, the only time where I let passion get the better of me is when someone doesn't think before saying anything, and then my anger makes me participate in the folly of doing so. I'm a mess, I know...

As to whether I could make it with someone unemotional... I don't know. If I'm honest, I don't want someone completely unemotional, but I don't want to have to try and control an impulsive person.

Very insightful thinking Driven. It's interesting - your self inspection is either very harsh or frighteningly accurate. Either way, the first step to fixing something is to admit it needs fixed.

messiaen77 wrote:

Savage Amusement wrote:

Do you think you would find it difficult to be married to a person who has the same non-emotional logic only personality that Mr. Spock has on star trek?

Yes, I do.  Emotion is a vital element of humanity.  Without emotion it is impossible to empathize and I would imagine it would be quite difficult to have fun.

I'd have to agree. I'm the more logic/reason oriented person in my marriage, but I'm also not without feelings. To be honest, I'm almost as passionate about things as I can be reasonable about them.

The most painful/excruciating relationship I was ever in was with someone who was very emotionally driven.  And as far as my [limited] dating experience goes, the lady whose characteristics I found most attractive and like someone who I eventually hope to marry was the most logical, clear-thinking, thought-before-she-spoke, analytical, and reasonable of the lot.  I would go so far as saying she may have even been a bit "cold" but I found that very attractive.  She was not without emotions - as she was a very passionate person about God and His kingdom (she has dedicated her life to ministry work) and was certainly affectionate, fun, and the like.

All that to say, I would DEFINITELY lean towards the side of less emotionally driven when looking for a mate.  But I feel like that's hard to categorize, as everyone's emotional symptoms/outward actions are different.

I think there has to be a balance, Kerrick. And you would prefer a lady who's more on the rational side than I would. To each his own, I suppose.

A woman without emotion, sexually frigid, distant and lazy ?

Do you really want to hear about my ex-wife ?

Guilty/Forgiven wrote:

A woman without emotion, sexually frigid, distant and lazy ?

Do you really want to hear about my ex-wife ?

Aww... that sounds no good...

Well I think there's a big difference between "being emotional" and having emotions...  Perhaps we should define our terms?  Someone like the woman Jim described doesn't sound too appealing...  But someone who on the more rational, logical side of things I find quite attractive.

I wouldn't want to marry anyone who was emotionless (or even trying to be emotionless).  I would rather have a women who cries when she is hurt and full of joy when she is happy (makes them a little easier to read that way).

I know as a female that it would be hard for me to he with someone who wouldn't sympathize with me. I'm not saying that someone has to kiss up to me. I hate that. I would want to be with someone who listens, can comfort me, and give sound advice and be loving n all that. At the same time, I like to be able to have my space. I don't like the over-emotional and awkward relationships. They are too overwhelming. Sometimes I want to be with someone, but not talking to or touching anyone. Hmm... I guess it would nice to be with someone who is a little like him, but not totally like him. I like how clever and logical Spock is, but I would need more emotion than what he expresses probably. If that made sense...

I am married to a extremely analytical woman without much feeling...now thats not to say she isn't emotional because she is..she is also bipolar so most of the time I kinda dont want her to be very emotional... So whats it like to married to a person like this...

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Logic and reason would always be how they dealt with you. 

Very true...she never see's the feeling side of things..for example: If I was disappointing by something or someone and feeling down she would not console me in any way..she would instead look at why I was disappointed , analyze it and then present the scientific reason for my disappointment and what logically I should do..

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So, arguments would not happen frequently.

Arguments not so much but being constantly corrected with the proper terms or facts concerning our conversation, yes...

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if your spouse was correcting you, then you could be pretty sure that it was your fault as they had already thought the whole process through.

Correct..the problem is its usually nobody's fault but try and tell her that..

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if the sex were good enough to last me for 7 years, then maybe!!! 

Thats the thing..with a person like this its just sex...no lovemaking or romance...almost like a one night stand but with the same person every time..
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Its hard sometimes to carry on a conversation with her ....she is so science/logical minded she can't really have a light heart'd conversation..with her there is no joking around.... her sense of humor is kinda odd at times...She used to didn't be so analytical but as she ages she has become very analytical... 

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without the showing of emotion, it would be difficult to know if they really cared for you.

sometimes I do feel this way but I do know she loves me....she does tell me that daily and she does rely on me alot... she does think of me at times and buys me stuff when she is out and she does surprise me from time to time with my favorite candy or something like that...She did buy me a real nice Charvel guitar a few years ago ...that was a surprise... But in the end we have been together for 20 years and I love her 

SA, your wife sounds a lot like mine, from the little bit you've shared, although I don't think meine Frau is bi-polar.  Although, that might explain some things...

Thanks for that insight SA, I can imagine it must be a challenge at times.  Glad to hear you still love each other after 20 years.

Yes, thanks SA.  I truly can't imagine.

My wife is the more rational of the two of us, but she isn't full-on Spock.  I'm more impulsive, but not flaky.  Early in our marriage, it made decision making quite tricky.  When it comes to decision time, she wants to gather all the data, make pro/con lists, analyze everything, and come up with the RIGHT decision.  I'm more of a look at the options, think about it a bit, and then just go with what "feels" best.  It all came to a head when we went to the Outer Banks for an anniversary trip one year and apparently stayed in the only American chain hotel that did not have alarm clocks in the rooms.  So we went to Kmart and spent AN HOUR AND A HALF trying to pick out a stinkin' alarm clock!  Of course it was 9 years ago and we are still using that alarm clock, so it must have been a good choice and worth all that time wasted invested.

I am the Spock in my marriage...my wife is a giant ball of emotions 24/7, it's exhausting for me to try to keep up with all the mood swings....and I have 2 daughters as well, the drama never ends. 

Sometimes I just have to step back and be alone for a couple of hours to cope with it.

I think Paul had great inspiration when he said
"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do."
1 Cor.7:8

Sorry, but that is my personal opinion these days.

Guilty/Forgiven wrote:

I think Paul had great inspiration when he said
"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do."
1 Cor.7:8

Sorry, but that is my personal opinion these days.

I agree. When I hear of someone getting married I say, "good, there's still time to talk him out of it!" People always think I am kidding, but I'm not.

I guess to be realistic and honest, I HAVE learned more by having a wife and raising kids than I could've learned from reading anything.  I've learned more about the unconditional love of Jesus for His bride and I learned so much about the love our Father has for His children by having kids of my own.
I wouldn't have that wisdom if I stayed single all these years. 

Course like Paul talked about, I was also more devoted and close to God when I was single.

Guess we little people need to step back and let God do His thing as always. He knows best.

To be honest I dont mind marriage but I cant stand children and I feel like I wasted years of my life doing the "family" thing instead of pursing my dreams... In all honesty I think I would probably not get married again but I would have alot of female friends..some who have "extra" benefits..

I have to confess that if it weren't for my marriage to my wife I would be a miserable wretched depraved sinner with no salvation.  Hopefully I would have at least married another woman who would have helped me see my need for Christ, because on my own I would have been a wreck.

As for kids I have to confess that I love my kids and have made many sacrifices for them but I feel like I am quickly reaching the end of my tolerance for sacrificing huge pieces of my health and sanity for them (which isn't good because my youngest is only 15).  They make my life ten times more difficult than my wife does.  The good news is that my daughter and grandson moved out this weekend, hopefully that will help ease some of the stress.

I don't like children either. That may change with time, but for now, I really don't like being around kids, probably because I never had any younger people in my life when I was a kid. So while I'd kinda like to be married, the aspect of kids scares me.

Staybrite wrote:

I have to confess that if it weren't for my marriage to my wife I would be a miserable wretched depraved sinner with no salvation.  Hopefully I would have at least married another woman who would have helped me see my need for Christ, because on my own I would have been a wreck.

As for kids I have to confess that I love my kids and have made many sacrifices for them but I feel like I am quickly reaching the end of my tolerance for sacrificing huge pieces of my health and sanity for them (which isn't good because my youngest is only 15).  They make my life ten times more difficult than my wife does.  The good news is that my wife and grandson moved out this weekend, hopefully that will help ease some of the stress.

Wait... what!? Your wife moved out over the weekend?