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 Dealing when your world is crumbling

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Guilty/Forgiven

Guilty/Forgiven

Number of posts : 9464
Age : 50
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Registration date : 2007-05-18

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PostSubject: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeMon Apr 27, 2020 4:53 pm

It's no secret that my health has been crappy most of my life, but I think it's easier to deal with when it's your own health problems. I now feel the kind of devastation and soul crushing sadness that a spouse feels for their loved one who is sick. Lisa has had some bad symptoms for 3 to 4 years now and hadn't been able to get any Doctors to listen to her and take her serious enough. She always thought the symptoms would just go away, and some would... only to come back. Long story short, this morning her (new) neurologist told us he needs to do some more testing, but he's pretty sure based on all her symptoms, his exams, and the marks on her brain MRI that she has Multiple Sclerosis. 

I'm beside myself. I don't even know how to process any of this. I deal with my own health by swallowing handfuls of medication, listening to records, posting frivolous crap on Facebook, and knowing that this ridiculous life is temporary. She's the most important person, friend and love I have in this life. She's my everything, 2nd only to God Himself. And I knew this day would come, not this diagnosis, but the day something serious would forever change our lives. Apparently my spine surgeries and pain wasn't enough problems these last 15 years, now we're BOTH going to be disabled and unable to do many things we'd always done before, simple things... and this at very young ages.

I've always understood and believed God's Word to us that He's not up there pouring disease and suffering on His children for whatever reason, but sometimes when you have zero strength left and life has forced you to be cynical, you wonder why... a lot. 
Without the last couple MRIs and spinal taps the full diagnosis is not confirmed (though the Dr all but said that's what it is), so she doesn't want me saying anything to any family yet. That leaves me with the need to get it out and cry on the shoulders of my CHM family. Thanks for hearing me out. On top of all my health problems, I now feel very empty as well.
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kerrick

kerrick

Number of posts : 3134
Age : 33
Registration date : 2013-07-17

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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeMon Apr 27, 2020 5:25 pm

Oh my goodness...  I'm praying for you guys.  May God have mercy and the results of these tests yield a far less severe issue which is easy to address.  In addition to prayer, how can we your CHM family be of encouragement and help?
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Guilty/Forgiven

Guilty/Forgiven

Number of posts : 9464
Age : 50
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Registration date : 2007-05-18

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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeMon Apr 27, 2020 5:50 pm

Quote :
May God have mercy and the results of these tests yield a far less severe issue which is easy to address.

This is the number one prayer at this point. I can certainly use as much encouragement as I can get. It just seems like, healthwise, it's been one negative thing after another for the last few years.
I just need strength to be there for her.
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alldatndensum
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alldatndensum

Number of posts : 21454
Age : 51
Localisation : Tennessee
Registration date : 2007-01-30

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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeMon Apr 27, 2020 9:09 pm

You definitely have my prayers, my friend.

Thank you for trusting us with this news.  It says a lot about your character that you reached out on her behalf.  I am thankful that this also shows that you know we will pray with you about this.

If you ever need to scream, cry, whine, whatever.....feel free to actually call me.  It isn't like I am going to work right now anyway.  Smile

_________________
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Xid

Xid

Number of posts : 4657
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Localisation : Kalispell, MT
Registration date : 2014-03-12

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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeMon Apr 27, 2020 10:43 pm

You're in my prayers, Jim.  And now your wife will be, too.
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http://www.joshuascreed.com
Normaniac

Normaniac

Number of posts : 582
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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeTue Apr 28, 2020 2:43 am

Mine too, friend.
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Guilty/Forgiven

Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeTue Apr 28, 2020 8:05 am

Quote :
If you ever need to scream, cry, whine, whatever.....feel free to actually call me. 

Thanks Chris. I'm really scared, but at the same time have peace of spirit from the Lord. I'm already tired and frustrated just trying to deal with my limitations and extreme pain on a daily basis, makes it so hard for me to give all to her... I DO, but it makes it 100 times more difficult. Never believed this would happen so young but, we'll definitely be needing a third party helper in the near future. No idea how any of that works, or how we'd even afford it. Gonna be an interesting ride. I'm just devastated for what she has to deal with... I'm scared for her
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Guilty/Forgiven

Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeTue Apr 28, 2020 8:06 am

Quote :
You're in my prayers, Jim.  And now your wife will be, too.

Quote :
Mine too, friend.

Thanks guys, I appreciate the love, more than you realize
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Black Rider

Black Rider

Number of posts : 1177
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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeTue Apr 28, 2020 8:11 am

I'm sorry to hear this, will pray for you both. Have you read the Joni Tada story? It might encourage you.
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Guilty/Forgiven

Guilty/Forgiven

Number of posts : 9464
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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeTue Apr 28, 2020 8:46 am

Thanks so much. Yep, I've read her book and seen 2 of her movies. She has an incredible spirit, always wanted to meet her.
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Fundy

Fundy

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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeWed Apr 29, 2020 1:14 am

Really sorry to hear this, Jim.  There's not a lot I can say, other than I will lift your lovely wife up in prayer, and hope that the condition of her multiple sclerosis stays mild.

I too, will put both of you on my prayers list.

_________________
My Christian Metal Website.........
Silence Is Madness

Three Things for a better life...
1 - Believe In Jesus.
2 - Love one another.
3 - Let God be the judge.

That is all I need to say.
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rockerVu2

rockerVu2

Number of posts : 15792
Age : 91
Registration date : 2007-02-09

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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeWed Apr 29, 2020 7:31 am

It's so good you share this with us here Jim.
On this way we can pray for Lisa and for you.


Yep, let's pray that the MS stays mild.
Jim, we are here for you so you can vent every time you need to do that.
We will listen and pray for Lisa and for you.
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Staybrite

Staybrite

Number of posts : 21078
Age : 52
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Registration date : 2007-02-08

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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeWed Apr 29, 2020 5:26 pm

As always praying for you and now your lovely wife.  I understand this can be very trying for you, and that you probably won't want to show a lot of weakness in front of her.  So you can always cry to us (about any little or big thing). 
Praying the results will show some very simple to fix explanation.  But if it doesn't I will be praying for strength for you both.  The both of you are never far from my thoughts and prayers.

_________________
"I used to be indecisive.......... Now I'm not sure."
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Hardkore

Hardkore

Number of posts : 2138
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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeWed Apr 29, 2020 6:20 pm

Wow, um yeah, I’ll be praying for both of you too.
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deathisgain

deathisgain

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Registration date : 2014-12-04

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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeWed Apr 29, 2020 7:38 pm

When my wife was in the hospital near death, I spent every night on the floor crying. She was in the ICU for over a month in a coma on a ventilator, with a 20% chance to live. Her vitals were a roller coaster, and the breaking point came when I finally laid there and told God to take her if that was His will. Miraculously she pulled through. I'm not saying this as a way of saying it will happen to everyone. But in these moments we have to hang on to the fact that a God who is sovereign, is sovereign over all things, good and bad. He will lead you through this.

Our Bible fellowship is reading a book called "Trusting God" that is very timely with all that is going on around us. It is really helping me to understand a lot of things with God's sovereinty.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1631467921/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I will be praying for you two as well.
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Guilty/Forgiven

Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeThu Apr 30, 2020 9:05 am

It's always been so awesome to have my family here at CHM. Years ago I was very active here and hung out almost daily, but so much has changed in my life that I haven't been socially active on these boards much at all, and any little time I DO have I drop quick hit'n'run comments on FB. I said all that to say, I have no close friends and especially no deep relationships outside of Lisa. I have no one to share the heavy stuff with, but I always know I can share here at CHM and receive prayers, even if i havent been around for a while.
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Guilty/Forgiven

Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeThu Apr 30, 2020 9:16 am

Thank you all for the prayers and encouragements. 
She is definitely in the Lords Hands and I try to accept that Lisa and God have their own relationship and He has His own plan for her life. As much as I want to intervene and see to it that she never suffer or struggle, it's not for me to say. 2 months before we met in 1996 I had prayed for Gods will whether I marry or stay single and in service for Him. In every way she was and is an answer to my prayers and a daily demonstration of Gods love for me thru her. The last 15+ years have been rough,, and I suppose it's only gonna get worse until we succumb to whatever were destined to die of. I know this is true, I just have trouble with accepting it.
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Driven

Driven

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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeSat May 02, 2020 12:45 pm

I love your love for your wife. I pray my love grows to be anywhere near yours.

Not that I think I have much to offer, but I do have a friend with MS who's just a few years older than I am. Things aren't fun for her and have gotten worse over the past few years, but she takes it one day at a time and puts her time into art projects and whatnot. From what I see, it's possible to live with MS and still enjoy life overall - it's what you do with your days that makes the difference. Courage! Smile
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rockerVu2

rockerVu2

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Age : 91
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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeSun May 03, 2020 11:59 am

That's why CHM are family Jim.
Keep us posted over your wifes situation.
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Guilty/Forgiven

Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeMon May 04, 2020 5:02 pm

Driven wrote:
I love your love for your wife. I pray my love grows to be anywhere near yours.

Not that I think I have much to offer, but I do have a friend with MS who's just a few years older than I am. Things aren't fun for her and have gotten worse over the past few years, but she takes it one day at a time and puts her time into art projects and whatnot. From what I see, it's possible to live with MS and still enjoy life overall - it's what you do with your days that makes the difference. Courage! Smile

Thanks for the encouragement! I've had a couple people tell me that she'll be in a much better place once they get her on the right medication and treatments. The fear of the unknown can truly be horrifying, but when I hear from you and others that those with MS can live somewhat normal lives, it gives me hope and calms my worries quite a bit. Thanks brother
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rockerVu2

rockerVu2

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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitimeWed May 20, 2020 6:55 am

Jim, is there more news about the situation of your wife?
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PostSubject: Re: Dealing when your world is crumbling   Dealing when your world is crumbling I_icon_minitime

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