Dumb Kwestion #47 - Do you still talk to childhood friends?

Here's a new one, and like the last one, not really a dumb kwestion just one I am curious about. 

The first one really doesn't qualify as a friend because he is my nephew (my oldest brother's son). We are only 6 months apart. I've known him my whole life and hear from him weekly via text or email. Occasionally we talk on the phone but he lives in Hawaii so it makes it hard to know when it is a decent time to call. He works at the University of Hawaii. He had mentioned several times to me that he had a friend Mike that also worked at U of H and said he was a cool guy... Left it at that... One day my nephew told him he used to spend his summers with his grandparents and his uncle in Tennessee that was the same age he was (ME!). His coworker asked where in Tennessee.... He told him Knoxville and it turns out his coworker was not only from Knoxville but went to my high school and graduated with me! Talk about a small world! So I reconnected with Mike as well, having not seen him or heard from him since graduation in 1989. We weren't great buds or anything growing up but we knew each other very well and had classes together from 6th thru 12th grade. It was cool to hear from him and catch up. We usually email each other 3-4 times a year. I'll also add that my nephew is more like a brother because we are so close in age. I saw him this summer when he and his family travelled to Tennessee and I made the trip to see them.

On to people who are friends:

I moved to Tennessee in 1980. The first kid I met was about 3 years older than me but we hit it off. We had Star Wars in common and became the best of friends. But by the time he hit high school he got in with the wrong crowd (if you know what I mean). We still hung out some and many times I would be with him and his older friends... They would "pass one around" (again, if you know what I mean). When it got to me I always said "no thanks". he graduated 3 years before me and moved to Atlanta. After about a 4 year stint he came home a bit more mature. We talked some but didn't hang out much as I was in college by this time. He got saved and changed for the better. (I am guessing this is early 90's). By 1997 I had moved out of state so we lost touch. I heard his dad passed away in 2003 so I reached out to him and our friendship began anew. He and his family even came to Florida for vacation and we met for dinner. We talked 2-3 times a week on the phone. By 2012-2013 he was having a midlife crisis and had somewhat "checked out" after his mom passed away in 2010.  he did some things I didn't agree with but he was still my friend. He left his wife and had moved into his mom's condo now that she had passed. Anyway, he was killed in a car accident on Thanksgiving in 2013. I really hope he had his life right with Jesus, and he claimed he did but he wasn't happy at home. Hopefully I will see him again one day. If he were still alive I believe we would still be in touch daily. 

Another friend I met in 4th grade. We remained close friends from 4th grade and beyond college. We went to the same church, lived in the same neighborhood and had the same interests. Even after I got married we kept in touch on a regular basis. Then he married a Jewish girl and converted to Judaism. He pretty much ghosted everyone after that, including his family. They still hear from him, just not very much. I never hear from him, ever. I think it has been about 7 or 8 years since I last heard from him on email. He would normally email me a huge message with a life update but then never reply to my message. Now I email him twice a year just to let him know what is going on but I never get a reply. I'll continue to do so until he asks me not to. My mom still talks to his mom and when I ask I am told he and his family are fine. I don't know if I offended him or not but he never replies and stopped answering my calls so I stopped calling years ago. Once I knew he converted to Judaism I never mentioned religion. My mom told me he had a spat with his brother over Christmas cards and he ended up breaking contact with his younger brother. Something along the lines of "We are Jewish, send us Hanukkah cards" to which his brother replied "I am Christian so I send Christmas cards". 

I have another friend that I hung out with in 8th grade. Only 8th grade, after that we drifted apart. Then years later we sat with him and his wife at our high school reunion. He's a great guy but I call him my "football" friend as we only contact each other during football season now. He did call in to check on me after the hurricane and offered legal advice about insurance (he is an insurance lawyer). Now that football season has ended I'll hear from him again in the fall. 

Finally I met Pete around 6th grade. We never hung out much until senior year. We decided that we would try college. If we did well we would stay in college but if our grades weren't good we would join the Navy. Then one day I didn't see him in classes. he called me at the end of the day and said "I joined the Navy!". I asked why he did it without me. he said it was because he had bad grades and I didn't and knew I would decide to stay in school. So he joined up and I heard from him via letters. He was stationed in Jacksonville. When I moved to Florida in 2000 he made the 4 hour drive to help us move in. We still keep in touch several times a week via text and occasionally talk to each other on the phone. 2 years ago I was in Jacksonville on business and he met my boss and I for dinner one night. I last heard from him just a couple of days ago.

Sorry to type a long message but I would like to hear of other stories. Life takes us in different directions. When we were kids we think our friends will be around forever. 

So to tally up, I think I only have one friend I keep in touch with, my friend Pete from Jacksonville. Nephew doesn't count because he's family. His coworker doesn't really count because we just share an occasional email. My Jewish friend doesn't count (but I wish he did) because he ghosted me. And football friend doesn't really count because we only text during football season.

The only childhood friends I keep in contact with are the couple that we went to church together all through our school years.

We moved a lot so I don't have a lot of childhood friendships that remained intact.

Friends? Had no friends...still have very few people I would classify as friends.
I know lots of people and lots of people know me, but the vast majority of relationships that I have are very superficial.
My personality is to be kind of a loner and it doesn't really bother me.

On the childhood side of things, not really. I had, like, two friends growing up and both of those eventually petered out and ended by the time I was in middle school. I only talk to a handful of people from high school and I only graduated 6 years ago, so...

There's one guy from H.S. that was in our wedding sort of talk to through FB and that's about it.

First off, I wouldn't consider this a dumb kwestion ONLY because it isn't dumb (but I'm going to add it the count/list anyway) 

Secondly I really enjoyed your write-up Mike, very thorough (and some of it a little sad).

Thirdly, like Xid I moved around a lot as a kid.  Seems like I had a really good friend in every town that I lived in, but for the most part I wasn't able to keep in touch with nearly all of them.  

There were two exceptions.  When I was in seventh grade I met this strange kid who seemed stoned most of the time.  It was in English class and the teacher asked if I would help him with some paper we were all supposed to be writing.  So we spent some time together in class and after school.  I met his parents and his little brother, and it turned out he wasn't stoned at all but rather he had bad allergies and was on medication that made him seem kinda spacey.  He was a friendly guy, but most people didn't get to know him because they thought he was some weird stoner kid.  We struck up a friendship and remained great friends all the way through our senior year of high school and beyond.  When I joined the Army about a year after graduation he was one of the only people that kept in touch with me.  When I got married 6 months later, he was the best man at my wedding.  Although we live a few hours apart and have different lives we still stay in touch.  We love a lot of the same music and occasionally still see club shows and concerts together.  We don't get together as much as both of us would like, but nearly 40 years after meeting, we are still good friends.

I'm also very close to the girl I started dating in high school (so not really a childhood friend).  We started dating about half way through the 10th grade....about 3 years later I married her, and we've been together ever since (over 35 years in total).

Sometimes I see a girl from our neighborhood and we talk to each other then.
But I haven't had many friends.

Oh, like Staybrite I married a girl from H.S.

Black Rider wrote:

Oh, like Staybrite I married a girl from H.S.

So you didn't marry your high school girlfriend's younger sister? 

I think you have me confused with someone else.

Staybrite wrote:

Black Rider wrote:

Oh, like Staybrite I married a girl from H.S.

So you didn't marry your high school girlfriend's younger sister? 

My oldest brother did.  Was suppose to go out with the older girl, ended up liking the younger sister much more. Started dating the younger sister in '81 during his senior year and were married by '84.  Still together to this day.

bassdude wrote:

Friends? Had no friends...still have very few people I would classify as friends.
I know lots of people and lots of people know me, but the vast majority of relationships that I have are very superficial.
My personality is to be kind of a loner and it doesn't really bother me.

I am exactly the same way!  Loners unite, um.....well, at least in an online forum!

I had a couple of friends in high school, but I rarely see them.  I do talk to them when I do run into them, though.

I don't really have a lot of friends.  Most of my friends post here and I have met scarce few of you face to face.

Black Rider wrote:

I think you have me confused with someone else.

No, I'm just messing with ya man.  Although I have heard of that happening.
Then there is what happened to Bill S. Preston.....almost worse.

Guilty/Forgiven wrote:

Staybrite wrote:

Black Rider wrote:

Oh, like Staybrite I married a girl from H.S.

So you didn't marry your high school girlfriend's younger sister? 

My oldest brother did.  Was suppose to go out with the older girl, ended up liking the younger sister much more. Started dating the younger sister in '81 during his senior year and were married by '84.  Still together to this day.

Oh wow, I've heard of that happening, but never actually seen it with someone I know.....and I guess I still haven't given that I don't know your brother.

"Introverts unite. Separately. In your own homes" lol That's hilarious

Childhood friends? Hmm. Nah. Burned that bridge a long time ago. I had a couple friends who were besties from toddlerhood right through preschool and primary and into high school, but they both started hanging out with the wrong crowd (acid-heads and binge drinkers). Not my thing so I just walked away. I know that they did end up cleaning themselves up, which is such a relief, but apart from our shared childhood, we don't have anything in common. I had lovely lovely friends throughout school, but we all drifted apart when I moved away to University and none of them did (with the exception of one who went off to seminary and then moved to the sticks). I never really went back after uni. I've never been to a class reunion and don't intend to either. Looking back, High School was pretty awful. I mean, I always had lots of friends, but it was all so petty. I didn't like watching the cliques and nonsense that went on. I felt quite happy to wish them well and then leave it all behind me.

My high school experience was awful as well.  It is definitely not something I want to repeat. The irony of it all is I now work in a high school, and the cliques and all are just as strong with the staff as it is with the kids.  

I do go to the reunions.  There are a couple of folks I attended school with that were quite nasty to me that now speak to me in public and at the reunions.  For that, I am grateful.  I also get to see one of my childhood friends there.  Again, I am grateful for that.  However, I am still the fat kid that gets mostly ignored and most of my class are still sots.  I know--sad but true.



So did I!  Well, she didn't go to my high school.  I was invited to a party with a group of mostly outcasts.  The girl hosting the party invited this girl she went to church with that lived in another town and attended a different school.  She brought a friend.  The friend and I were introduced but didn't hit it off.  What is funny is that friend has been my sister-in-law for about 5 years now!  The other girl and I hit it off.  We dated for a little while and broke up.  However, I mailed her my senior picture that I had promised to send her with a note that simply said, "I always keep a promise."  This infuriated her, but she thought I was handsome with my mullet.  She came to see me, and we hit it off again and started dating.  I was a year ahead of her in school, so we dated all the way through her senior year and got married TWENTY DAYS after she graduated school.  That was almost 32 years ago.

Jen5 wrote:

"Introverts unite. Separately. In your own homes" lol That's hilarious

Childhood friends? Hmm. Nah. Burned that bridge a long time ago. I had a couple friends who were besties from toddlerhood right through preschool and primary and into high school, but they both started hanging out with the wrong crowd (acid-heads and binge drinkers). Not my thing so I just walked away. I know that they did end up cleaning themselves up, which is such a relief, but apart from our shared childhood, we don't have anything in common. I had lovely lovely friends throughout school, but we all drifted apart when I moved away to University and none of them did (with the exception of one who went off to seminary and then moved to the sticks). I never really went back after uni. I've never been to a class reunion and don't intend to either. Looking back, High School was pretty awful. I mean, I always had lots of friends, but it was all so petty. I didn't like watching the cliques and nonsense that went on. I felt quite happy to wish them well and then leave it all behind me.

+2

I'm Facebook friends with several people I went to elementary school with, but don't really keep in touch with any of them much beyond that. I've long since lost touch with most of the people I was friends with in high school.

My childhood is split right in half by a move after 5th grade to a different town. I'm connected on FB to less than ¼ of the primary classmates and roughly ½ of the secondary classmates. Never had a whole lot of good friends growing up. 

There's one guy who looks me up whenever he's in the area (will stop and say hi to my parents, too, when he's back home) but he's in the Navy and travels a bit for that. I used to call some of my buds occasionally after college, but after a couple years stopped when I realized I was the only one making calls.

Now, that said, there were a number of old classmates that sent gifts last year after my surgery that I wouldn't have expected to.

I'd like to reconnect more with extended family, but being three states away makes it hard. At least there's FB, which is a bit better than nothing.

There are a few people I still keep in contact with via FB that I went all the way through school (elementary, junior high and senior high).