The Adventures of CHM 2014

Been a long time since we've done this.
A story is told in segments. Each segment is driven by your imagination and silliness. Leave off where someone else can pick right back up.
Here goes.....

...a small clearing full of what looked to be something resembling garden gnomes running about and just generally frolicking in the grass.  He was completely startled to see such a thing, so startled in fact that he sharply pulled back and started to lose his footing.  In danger of falling and breaking his good leg, his arms pinwheeled around in a rather comic effort to keep himself from falling.  Fortunately Fundy was standing nearby and managed to grab him just before...

I will put the .  when this story will be finished.
Not very good in things like this.

rockerVu2 wrote:

I will put the .  when this story will be finished.
Not very good in things like this.

Great idea!

Quote :

Fortunately Fundy was standing nearby and managed to grab him just before...

he fell off the side of the mountain - a 2 mile drop !  He pulled Alldat up and onto solid ground. Alldat thanked Fundy for saving his life ! Then he stopped for a minute and noticed Fundy was wearing a pointy gnome hat with the words "King of the Frollicking Gnomes" on it. Alldat looked at him weird for a minute and asked....

.....,"Where's the nearest Cracker Barrel?  I've been hiking for 3 hours and am starving!  All these gnomes seem to have energy so they must have recently eaten.  By the way, why are you wearing a crown?  Do you work at Burger King making flame broiled Whoppers wearing paper hats?  Do you ever sing, 'Do you want an apple pie with that?'"

Fundy was so confused and offended by the machine gun barrage of questions from Alldat that he.....

made a table and then flipped it over. Alldat and Fundy then noticed a little gnome sitting on a small rock and eating some delicious bran cereal. They decided to go toward him. Alldat was really hungry and wanted to ask for food. "Do you know where I could get some food?" asked Alldat. Suddenly, the gnome let out a deafening hiss and ran behind a bush. He was quiet for a second or two before continuing to munch on his cereal. Alldat turned to Fundy and asked, "What just happened? Why did he act like that?" Fundy replied "Oh, he's just really hungry. He's also a Bran Gnome. He only eats bran cereal." "That makes sense," said Alldat. Then, Alldat noticed that this was the location of the next cache. He put it away somewhere safe. Fundy and Alldat walk further down the path until...

Alldat can't stand it anymore, and he finally asks Fundy, "What is it with the Gnomes ? And when did you become "King of the Frolicking Gnomes ??!"
As they walked on, Fundy began telling him how it all started, and how wonderful these gnomes were, in fact one of them saved his life once, so he feels a certain debt to them. Fundy said "you know the Gnome you seen back there with the red hat and Ray Ban sunglasses he bought from a CHM Facebook post ? Well, he's the one who saved me from dying of dehydration when I got lost in these woods. If it weren't for that little guy, I wouldn't be here right now."
At that point Alldat became very nervous and upset. He thought to himself ("How am I gonna tell Fundy that after I found the cache and took the contents out of the box, I sort of stuffed that very Gnome with the red hat into the box for the next Geocacher to find"....)
So instead of telling Fundy the truth about the Gnome, he quickly hid the Ray Bans he took from the Gnome and told Fundy....

"I think he said something about moving to Canada." 

"Canada?  Why Canada?" Fundy asked with an expression like he was trying to divide 4,506 by 3,408.

"He was arguing with Staybrite about the superiority of the CFL over the NFL because the Canadian field is 10 yards longer.  Staybrite said 'Well if you love it so much, why don't you just move there?'  So he did."

"Wow..." Fundy sighed.

"Yep.  It turns out gnomes are very suggestable," Alldat concluded.  "They are also...

..all over the place ! Why do they follow you around everywhere ?" and under his breath, Alldat added "and they stink too... whew !"
"Well", Fundy said, "they fancy me their King... and besides, I can frollick with the best of them! - oh and as for their smell, well, they bathe in...

..hippopotamus sweat.  It's rather nasty at first but you grow quite accustomed to it after a while, and it's really good for the pores.  As they walked along the forest other woodland creatures began to venture out of the trees.  Before Alldat knew it, he and Fundy were being followed by quite a group of creatures that included...

Bambi, Thumper, a skunk named "Flower", a wise old Owl, and monkeys that were having a feces fight. As monkey feces flew overhead, Alldat yelled "Fundy, King of gnomes, PLEASE call off your animals !"

Fundy laughed and said "I have no control over the animals, just the Gnomes. Perhaps all these animals are attracted to the cache you just scored"
Alldat opened his backpack with the cache in it and said, "You're right. Of course the animals would be attracted to....."

"The Birdcage!  I don't understand it, but animals are irresistibly drawn to Nathan Lane in drag.  The only thing they are drawn to more is..."

...apple pie." Fundy and Alldat approach a beautiful waterfall. "This is where the water gnomes live," yelled Fundy. The two proceeded to play in the water until they saw a little water gnome family having some cucumber sandwiches. Alldat felt really hungry again and went up to ask again for yum yummy food. Before he could open his mouth, the gnome offered him some food. Alldat took it of course and quickly gobbled it up. He then thanked them. "How did you know I was hungry?" asked Alldat. "Well, you look tired and... those Bran Gnomes tell everyone everything that happens around here. We knew you would come," said the Daddy Water gnome. Before Alldat could say anything else, the gnome family continued to frolick through the forest somewhere. Fundy and Alldat keep walking until...