I'm angry how my son is being treated at Upward Basketball

For the last few years my 2 boys and daughter have played for a local church basketball league called Upward. We have been really happy with them until now. My son Drew has played with them since kindegarten.  He's now in 5th grade. He is on the autism spectrum but is high functioning autism. For the first few years he struggled with learning the rules of the game and drifting off when he is out on the court. They gave us a hard time before this season started saying that he couldn't run fast enough and they almost didn't allow him to play. But we compromised and let him play on the 3rd & 4th grade team. They also told us that this would be his last year he'd be allowed to play. This year he really excelled and he played his heart out. He didn't score any baskets but he got several assists played awesome defense against some real good players. I think he's proven the director wrong. Today was the last game of the season and he played awesome today.  I was so proud of him. So I walked up to the director of the program and told her what an awesome job Drew did today.  I'm expecting her to congratulate him but instead tells me that per our previous conversation she will not allow him to play next year saying the 5th & 6th grade level is too intense for him.  What a crock of bs!! She never even saw him play. We argued back and forth and she just told me she was gonna reject his app next year. She doesn't know who she's dealing with. I'm not gonna let her deny my son the opportunity to play in Upward next year. If there us any organization that should be understanding of this it's the church. I'm going to approach her tomorrow privately  at the awards ceremony tomorrow and if it's not resolved I'm going to the senior pastor of that church!

As someone who's also on the spectrum, I really proud of your son. I wish he were treated better, too.

go get 'em mom !     We had to give a few teachers hell when our kids were younger, for different reasons, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. Make sure your child is not passed up for anything !

I have to confess I posted this while I was still pissed off! I need to remember in my anger not to sin. I did seek the counsel if some close friends, other parents of Upward players, even an elder in my own church. What I've decided to do is write a lettre to the director and I cc'd: several of the pastors including the senior pastor of that church. All of the pastors are involved in the Upward League either as refs or coaches. I was very professional in my wording but I basically pleaded Drew's case. I feel a lot better now and feel confident we are gonna win this thing. I'm gonna drive down to the church office on my lunch hour and hand deliver it. There are other kids out there who love basketball and have special needs. They should be given the same opportunity to excel in their sport as a child without special needs.

Good for you Mac, my wife has been advocating for our son to get tested (evaluated for special needs) at his school for the entire school year. We have to stand up for our kids because it's unlikely that anyone else will.

Quick story - one story of many, my daughter had a bone cyst in her upper arm around the growth plates. She broke her arm 7 times and had 8 surgeries on it. We notified the front office that if she EVER says her arm is broke - believe her and call us immediately (before the cell phone days). Well, her cyst had advanced and 20 minutes before school was released she bumped into someone on recess and it broke, she was in terrible pain and told the recess lady who told her to hang in there, school's almost out and she can wait !!!! We both worked 3 minutes from the school ! When I casually drove up to pick her up (this is a half hour later, she's been in terrible pain the whole time) I see her crying and know - She got in the truck and told me the story as I drove her to the ER. Lisa and I went to the school the next day and tore them to pieces.
We had a couple more issues similar to that as she got into high school. But alas were able to get her those new fangled things called cell phones so she could call us whenever it happened.

As a mom or dad it's good advocating for your kids.
I hope you get good responses on the letter you have written.

I'm heading out to the church as we speak.

Gave the lettres to the church secretary!

Now you,ve to wait.

Now it's in God's hands

I haven't heard anything from the church yet. I'd said I'd give them till the end of the week if I didn't get a phone call. Do you guys think I should call them tomorrow or give till Monday?

The end of the week can be Friday or Saturday.
I think give them till Monday.

I'd wait until Monday.  I must say that I find this to be incredibly disappointing.  It seems someone is missing the spirit of the organization.  It isn't AAU.

I think waiting for another day or two would be beneficial.  It will give you a bit more time to pray about what your next moves should be.  Should you confront the director again?  If you do, should you call in the leadership of the church?  Should you skip it altogether and write a letter to the local newspapers and call them out on it publicly?  Make sure that whatever you do here is the right thing as you don't want to get your son on the league again and have him mistreated or humiliated in front of everyone.

I'm gonna give it to Monday or Tuesday. If I don't hear by then I'll call. I don't know how I feel about contacting the local news paper. I think that goes along the same lines of taking fellow Christians to court. I'm hopeful we can resolve this within the organization

If the church won't do anything, call your local newspaper or TV station and have them do a story about it, Mac. I'm disabled as well and my dad had to fight to make sure I was taken care of when I was young. Sometimes, whether people are Christian or not, it doesn't make a bit of difference. You need to fight for your son, and if it means taking the church to court, so be it. If you don't fight for him, who will?

I'm hopeful it doesn't get to that level. I'll give it till Monday or Tuesday at the latest. I'm really hoping they will do the right thing and allow him to play or at least work with me somehow.

If you feel that the way they are treating your son is truly wrong, then you should expose the hypocrisy.  If they are discriminating against your son, then they are in sin.  That needs to be dealt with.

We spoke with an elder at our church today and he has given us some wise Godly counsel. His advice was that if we stated our case and they don't have the courtesy to respond with a yes or no answer then we need to call them out on it. That being said he told us to give them until the end of this week and if we still don't get a response he will call them on our behalf.

Just received the call. He's playing next year!! VICTORY!!!!!

Yeppers the peppers, that's awesome news Mac.

Great news!

Great news!