School Daze

Use this thread to post humorous stories (true or not) of your days in school.



My Favorite Animal

My teacher once asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."

She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.
My parents told me to always tell the truth and I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.
I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA and/or a Nazi.
He said they love animals too much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.
Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.
I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite LIVE animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.
She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

The next day, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.
I told her, "Colonel Sanders."
Guess where I went then...

Whoa, Sabidoo, you be blasphemin' BACON!!

Fantastic account Sabidoo.

I remember one that was kind of funny. When I was in the second grade I went to a private school run by a bunch of nuns (I don't know why I went there, because my family was not even Catholic). The nuns actually wore habits and they looked like big penguins. Well if you got in serious trouble they sent you to the the Principal's office for swats on the behind with a yard stick (that would be a meter stick for our friends outside of the U.S.).

Well my friend and I got in trouble (I don't remember what for) and were sent to the "head Penguin's" office to get our swats. We were both pretty scared. My friend was forced to go first, and I was forced to watch. The Principal bent him over her desk and gave his rump several hard wacks with a long wooden yard stick. So his turn was over and he was crying really good (it did hurt pretty bad). So now it's my turn and the penguin has me bend over the desk, and with her first wack the yard stick breaks over my behind. She is astounded and just stands there staring at her broken yard stick. My friend starts laughing (and is still crying at the same time). I can't help it and I start laughing too, but at the same time I'm afraid it will make the Penguin really mad and seriously wail on me when she gets her hands on another yard stick. Fortunately she didn't have another yard stick in her closet and she was at a total loss for what to do. She ended up sending us back to class and I never got my "proper swats".

When I was in 6th grade(a LONG time ago), we had a science teacher who promoted the theory of evolution. Several kids from my church(including me), stood in class and respectfully refuted his teaching with Scripture. Believe it or not, we didn't get in trouble, and he bypassed evolution and went to the next chapter without further comment. I believe that God Himself intervened.

I was forced to go to a Catholic school ran by nuns. I was such a bad child, and I often ran with a wrong crowd. I got in some trouble over smoking, and they stuck me with laundry duty. Needless to say, I picked up some nasty habits.

Quote :

I picked up some nasty habits

Nice pun

Ya'alls stories are leaving me in stitches ! These are great. I've got several (I was quite an ADHD kid).

1st grade, something funny about sticking things in your nose and letting them hang out. Laughs from everyone... except me when I realized the game piece became stuck up my nose and the more I tried to dig it out, the more I shoved it into my nasal passage. Not a good day.

4th grade I was "messing" with a fire alarm. It fascinated me cuz the glass was already broken and I was trying to pull out a small peice of glass that seemed loose, when the peice came out, the larger shard fell and out popped the button - Not only did I successfully get the entire school out to the playground, but I got a 3 day vacation for my "curiosity".

5th grade, I flinged a rock at least 50 yards towards where some of my buddies were, INTENDING the rock to drop to the ground and rolled past them or even hit one of them in the leg.... apparently a gust of wind took it and the rock found its way to the back of a teacher's head. Another vacation.

Skip to my senior year. My buddy and I drove to the school at 1AM. We found a choice spot and my bud layed face down, I traced his body in chalk, then we lit real flares and layed them around the chalk lines, and finished it off with a well placed squirt of red enamel paint. The rumors the next day were priceless ! One person even said "I live up the street from here and I heard the gunshot !" - Priceless.

I've got many more, but as you can tell these were before I knew God, so most stories I can't repeat here.

Guilty/Forgiven wrote:

Skip to my senior year. My buddy and I drove to the school at 1AM. We found a choice spot and my bud layed face down, I traced his body in chalk, then we lit real flares and layed them around the chalk lines, and finished it off with a well placed squirt of red enamel paint. The rumors the next day were priceless ! One person even said "I live up the street from here and I heard the gunshot !" - Priceless.

Oh man! I wish I'd thought of that beforehand!!!

I think that red enamel paint is still there...

Wow, G/F you got into more trouble than I did. Did you ever spend any time in juvenile dentention (I barely dodged that one).

Not sure why we didn't get caught on the major things... I should've done time when I outran a cop after me and my buddies were drag racing near the school. Then there's the time we... oh nevermind, not appropriate.

Let's just say I thank God I survived school and didn't wind up with a record.

Guilty/Forgiven wrote:

Let's just say I thank God I survived school and didn't wind up with a record.

DITTO times 100

Broke into school and borrowed a bunch of chemicals. Had fun playing with the security guard, setting off sodium "bombs" all over the lot. Also made several bombs in college. Lucky I'm still here actually as one was made from unstable material (hehe) and went off while mixing (oops). Everyone thought a car had run into the dorm. I had to set a fan in the window to clear the smoke.

We had boulder in front of our school to encourage tagging it instead of the school I presume. A few of my friends and I encased said boulder in concrete end of senior year.

Lit a road on fire and the passing car happened to be one of my cohorts parents. That was hard to keep a straight face when he mentioned it later.

Now those are some dingers !

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Lit a road on fire

How in the world ???

Wow, some of you guys make my adolescent years seem positively tame.

When I was in Grade 6, I think, I broke a window in a door. I'd backed up against the door and hit it with my rear. Thankfully, the principal didn't make me pay for it. But man, I was scared!

(It should be noted that there was construction going on, so that may have brought about the window becoming more shatter-prone.)

btw, disclaimer time: Any stories revealed herein should not be attempted on your own. It is 2011, and when most of these stories took place, there were not cameras everywhere as there are now.
You have been warned.

I have a few stories like that, but only one of them is specifically school related. Me and a buddy got up on top of the school building (a Christian school, no less), which was right beside a highway and started chucking rocks at passing cars.

There are a whole lot of mines in our area, both large and small. One time we broke into a powder magazine and stole a bunch of explosives. We used them for various things, including blowing the lock off of the metal doors of a couple of mines to go exploring. We found a beautiful flowstone formation in one of them. If only I'd had a camera...

WOW, am I glad Jesus saved us !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sabidoo your story was

For me school was a disaster.
I never liked it and never felt comfortable enough to naughty things.

rockerVu2 wrote:

For me school was a disaster.
I never liked it and never felt comfortable enough to naughty things.

I didn't really like school either, but for some reason I never had a difficulty doing naughty things.

School was very boring to me, hated it. I was your classic ADHD kid WITHOUT the drugs. Naughty was a daily thing for me. I used to get "referrals" (triplicate form bad child notices), and I would go home to my empty house, empty one of our metal trash cans and burn them to ashes.... then toss all the trash back in.
Oh God, I hope my mom never reads this

Looks like TT and I could have been quite the dynamite duo.

HAHAHA!!! G/F said ADHD as though it were real...Now THAT'S funny.