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 I just really need prayer today....

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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: I just really need prayer today....   Thu Jun 07, 2018 11:54 am

I've just had my worst month ever at the church as far as youth attendance.  What a blow.  I must say that this adds to my discouragement.

Also, more drama happened behind the scenes of the church.  I have this family who's 6th grader doesn't like his Sun. or Wed. night teachers.  So, back in October, they got another lady to speak to me about going ahead and moving the boy into the youth even though we have always had a 7-12 grade.  I told the lady I would run it past the deacons and my youth council (my volunteers) and see what they thought.  My council was opposed especially since their kids had to wait to come up.  The deacons said they supported me in my decision to keep the boy where he was.

His mom is the type that is always at school fussing at teachers.  If the boy got a 90, he deserves more.  If he got an A, then he deserved extra credit.  All the teachers that gave him a B hated him.  That type.

So, she has gone behind the scenes to attempt to sway the deacons to force me to bring the boy in.  I've had two different discussions over the past few months.  Each time, the deacon that I was speaking with agreed with me.

So, last night, the dad--who had NEVER talked to me about why the boy needs to be moved up--was asking for recommendations on Facebook for a youth group that would allow his boy in.  What is messed up about this is that the boy will come into the youth group as soon as school starts in August.  We are mere weeks away from him coming in anyway!  The dad HAD to know that I would see this.  I am angry.  I am hurting as I feel like they are just trying to manipulate me. In all this, they have NEVER once sat down to discuss this or why we do things the way we do.

Do I want the child to move up early?  No!  He doesn't know the meaning of the word "no" at home.  He wants something and his mom will bend over backwards to give it to him.  I am sorry if he feels like he is more mature than his younger church classmates.  When he hits the youth, he is a socially awkward child and the rest of my group will not quickly take him in.  He will feel like a fish out of water especially being so much younger than most of them.  Also, I feel that allowing him to move up early teaches him that rules do not apply if you whine enough.  And, it sets up a precedent that any parent can disregard the age divisions the church has set up just because they don't like the teacher or curriculum.

Whatever happened to trying to support the church in prayer and volunteering instead of manipulating to get your way???

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PostSubject: Re: I just really need prayer today....   Thu Jun 07, 2018 12:50 pm

I'll be praying for you, alldat.  I know how parents can view their children in a completely different light to reality, and sometimes it's rather tough to know how to deal with them.

And kids who get what they want do sometimes need to know there's boundaries, even if the parents don't seem to understand that!  Well done for standing by the rules.

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PostSubject: Re: I just really need prayer today....   Thu Jun 07, 2018 9:23 pm

alldatndensum wrote:
I've just had my worst month ever at the church as far as youth attendance.
God isn't impressed by numbers, but obedience. If you're doing what He's told you to do then don't sweat it if kids choose not to show up. Most just want their ears tickled nowadays.

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PostSubject: Re: I just really need prayer today....   Fri Jun 08, 2018 12:11 am

That sounds incredibly frustrating, praying for you brother.

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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: I just really need prayer today....   Fri Jun 08, 2018 7:53 am

It is frustrating.

I sent the dad a message on Facebook to call me.  Even though he put the call for youth group recommendations out there for the public to see, I decided I did not want this to be out there on social media should things go south.

Long story short, the parents will pull their two kids from the church and go elsewhere if I don't toss out the guidelines set by the church and bring their son into the youth group.  They are .looking for a youth group that will allow their 12 year old in.  The irony here is that all of the kids in the church move up on the first Sunday in August when school starts.  He will only be 12 TWO WEEKS before that!  So, you are going to get mad and church hop just because you want favoritism for your son?  Even if directed by the deacons to let the boy in at 12, it would merely be two weeks of an early arrival.

Their reasoning?  He is so much more mature than the other kids his age.  The parents are not thinking of my high schoolers who are gonna hate being stuck with someone so young.  It happens every time I get new 7th graders.  They get over it and accept the new kids, but sometimes it takes a few months for the new kids to acclimate.

The worst part of this whole situation is knowing the right thing to do here.  Does this boy NEED to be in the youth, or do the parents need to suck it up and utilize the programs he has available for his age?  Do I bring him on into the youth early to keep a family?  If I don't, then this family will most likely spread the word that I am the one that ran them off because I didn't want their son.  I do want him--just when everyone else gets to move up.

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PostSubject: Re: I just really need prayer today....   Fri Jun 08, 2018 9:15 am

Let them go.  You aren't refusing to let anyone in.  You aren't rejecting anyone.  Your church isn't rejecting them.  Everyone needs to be a part of a body of believers but not every body of believers needs a toxic member.

Their leaving is their choice.
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PostSubject: Re: I just really need prayer today....   Fri Jun 08, 2018 11:08 am

^Truth.
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: I just really need prayer today....   Fri Jun 08, 2018 3:49 pm

Xid wrote:
Let them go.  You aren't refusing to let anyone in.  You aren't rejecting anyone.  Your church isn't rejecting them.  Everyone needs to be a part of a body of believers but not every body of believers needs a toxic member.

Their leaving is their choice.


While I would agree, I could see how this could fester with our deacon body.  They are the ones who pretty much blamed our former pastor for the split we had two years ago.  While they did not fire him, they didn't give him much choice about leaving.  Now, we are fast approaching the two year mark with no real leadership and are still losing people.

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PostSubject: Re: I just really need prayer today....   Fri Jun 08, 2018 4:12 pm

So what happens if you move this kid up early and then he doesn't like you?
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: I just really need prayer today....   Fri Jun 08, 2018 11:36 pm

Well, there wouldn't be anywhere else for him to go.  I sure wouldn't help them move him to the college class as he is still in middle school.  So, I would suspect they'd leave anyway if he doesn't like me or the way I teach the Bible.

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PostSubject: Re: I just really need prayer today....   Sat Jun 09, 2018 1:15 am

I'd be willing to bet money they're going to eventually leave anyway, not understanding that they are the problem.
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: I just really need prayer today....   Sun Jun 10, 2018 7:49 am

You are probably right, Derek.  I feel better about this hearing your thoughts on this.

My thoughts are this:  the boy would enter the youth group on the first Sunday in August anyway.  Unless the Lord directs otherwise or the deacon board back me into a corner about it, I am just going to wait this out.  The family might leave.  They might leave if they get their way as they have had a history of church hopping every couple of years.  So, I am just going to wait on the Lord.  I have peace with this decision.

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PostSubject: Re: I just really need prayer today....   Sun Jun 10, 2018 3:41 pm

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