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 Well this is awkward....

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messiaen77

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PostSubject: Well this is awkward....   Fri Feb 16, 2018 1:30 am

Gang,

I owe you all an apology.† I was completely out of line with my outburst in Jim's thread.† I made insinuations and accusations against some of you that were completely unfounded and undeserved by putting words in your mouths and thoughts in your minds.† I became that which I despise, and I truly and deeply apologize for it.† I know that people like me and Ish are/were the "black sheep" of the board ideologically speaking, but not a single one of you have ever made me feel disrespected or like an outcast because you disagree with my worldview.† You are a wonderful bunch of folks, and you didn't deserve it.

The truth is I'm not in a very good place right now at all.† I'm struggling with a lot of changes in life and, quite frankly, a few areas where life is just collapsing down on me.† The anger and frustration and hopelessness I'm feeling just welled up and I directed it at y'all, and like I said, it wasn't fair to you.† I'm not trying to excuse my behavior, hopefully just put it into some kind of context.† I'm gonna step away for a bit to focus on getting the important stuff sorted out and handled.† Truly, it is nothing you guys did or said.† It's me.† And it's not just here, I'm gonna be pulling back everywhere.† I also feel like I should reach out to Ish to try to persuade him to come back.† I know he's a big boy and makes his own decisions, but I can't help feeling responsible for the open animosity that seems (to my guilty mind, at least) to have nudged him toward the door.

Anyway...thanks for reading.† Please accept my most sincere apology.† Be excellent to each other, and I hope to be back soon.
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topshot rhit



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PostSubject: Re: Well this is awkward....   Fri Feb 16, 2018 6:47 am

If you need a hug, I'll be in Carmel Sat. Thumbs Up

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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Well this is awkward....   Fri Feb 16, 2018 7:23 am

If you need to talk, hit me up on Facebook.† I'd like to see Ish stay as well.† I also understand if he just can't due to differences of opinions and interpretations.† I just hate losing someone here because we've always felt more like a family than a message board.† In the real world, I sure don't agree with everything my co-workers believe.† I either bite my tongue to keep from having drama, or I find a way to speak my peace lovingly and then drop the subject.† It is harder, in my opinion, to do so online as we don't always pick up on tone from the other participants in the conversation.† We also don't know enough about one another to know why we feel so strongly about a particular topic.

Like I said, hit me up on Facebook if you need to talk.† I am proud that you have made this confession to us for not being in the right place.† I think that proves you are a good friend, and I have the greatest respect for you in this.† I think it shows that you are moving towards a better place because your heart is still tender.

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I might have decided, or maybe not, that I should or shouldn't, depending on the issue or non-issue, to possibly share or not share, any thoughts, opinions, or facts (that might not be deemed factual by some), due to possible fear of any misinterpretation or retribution.
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Xid

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PostSubject: Re: Well this is awkward....   Fri Feb 16, 2018 10:01 am

Apology accepted though, personally, you don't owe me one.

I understand the need, or to feel the need to pull back, but pulling back from your Band of Believers shouldn't be something you have to do.† Just food for thought and not a guilt trip.† (I almost typed "quilt" trip.)† If you need to take a step back then so be it.† We'll still be here upon your return.
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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: Well this is awkward....   Fri Feb 16, 2018 4:30 pm

You certainly don't owe me an apology (as a matter of fact I apologize to you if I caused you any stress or anguish at all, not my intent).† Black sheep or not I still love you and Ish just as much as the rest of my brothers and sisters here at CHM.

I'll be praying that your troubled times are over sooner (rather than later).† Nothing but peace and love to you brother.

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Fundy

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PostSubject: Re: Well this is awkward....   Fri Feb 16, 2018 4:49 pm

I'm too dense to be offended

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rockerVu2



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PostSubject: Re: Well this is awkward....   Sat Feb 17, 2018 7:15 am

Thumbs Up Thumbs Up Thumbs Up
I admire people who can tell to others they were wrong.
That's so cool you can do this messiaen.

I hope that Ish comes back too.

In a good family like we are on CHM there's no need to hide after things happen.
Here you always can com back, even when things are said you disagree with.
That's how it goes in a family.
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Well this is awkward....   Sat Feb 17, 2018 7:59 am

Quote :
Black sheep or not I still love you and Ish just as much as the rest of my brothers and sisters here at CHM.

Same here!† Shoot!† I thought that is why we were all here is because we were black sheep of the family.† We just don't completely fit anywhere else.

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I might have decided, or maybe not, that I should or shouldn't, depending on the issue or non-issue, to possibly share or not share, any thoughts, opinions, or facts (that might not be deemed factual by some), due to possible fear of any misinterpretation or retribution.
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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: Well this is awkward....   Sat Feb 17, 2018 12:17 pm

alldatndensum wrote:
Quote :
Black sheep or not I still love you and Ish just as much as the rest of my brothers and sisters here at CHM.

Same here!† Shoot!† I thought that is why we were all here is because we were black sheep of the family.† We just don't completely fit anywhere else.

Exactly what I was thinking too.

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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: Well this is awkward....   Mon Feb 19, 2018 4:40 pm

I feel bad for even starting that thread. My intentions weren't to stir trouble, that's not my thing. Once in a blue moon I like to discuss something controversial, and I like to hear others opinions and input. Doesn't always change my mind about what I think or believe, but I'm always open to hear others.†

There was a fellow here a few years back that was a Universalist - I did not agree with the beliefs he held, but I still accepted HIM and loved to talk music and stuff with him. He's gone cuz he also "felt ganged up on" or whatever. Hell, I've felt ganged up on FB threads before, but I always come to the conclusion that just cuz I'm among people who don't agree with me on something, doesn't mean I can't hang with them and enjoy other aspects of our relationships. In the past I liked to gather only people that held most of the same beliefs I do on central and peripheral doctrine and current issues, but as I get older (and things don't ruffle me anymore), I desire to hang with all sorts of people with all sorts of ideas and beliefs.

Life's too short people. I love my CHM family, and that includes messiaen77 and Ish. I don't wanna see anyone bail out, esp cuz of a post I made !
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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: Well this is awkward....   Tue Feb 20, 2018 4:03 pm

Guilty/Forgiven wrote:
I feel bad for even starting that thread. My intentions weren't to stir trouble, that's not my thing.†

You are a horrible trouble maker and we should probably ban you.
Go sit in the corner and think about what you've done.

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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: Well this is awkward....   Tue Feb 20, 2018 10:38 pm

Staybrite wrote:
Guilty/Forgiven wrote:
I feel bad for even starting that thread. My intentions weren't to stir trouble, that's not my thing.†

You are a horrible trouble maker and we should probably ban you.
Go sit in the corner and think about what you've done.


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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Well this is awkward....   Wed Feb 21, 2018 7:30 am

Staybrite wrote:
Guilty/Forgiven wrote:
I feel bad for even starting that thread. My intentions weren't to stir trouble, that's not my thing.†

You are a horrible trouble maker and we should probably ban you.
Go sit in the corner and think about what you've done.


I saw no harm in the thread that you started and thought it was going well.† We all have to realize that most of the time we already have our minds made up on a particular topic and aren't going to change it from an online forum.

With that said, it seems that when we get two drastically opposite views, our culture nowadays equates "hearing what we say" to "accepting what we say as their opinion".† I AM NOT saying this was the case here, but I have seen it in news comments.† When someone feels like someone else isn't listening (accepting), they attack them as being imbecils.† That did not happen here--I am just stating what I have observed on other occasions.

Why do I bring this up?† I feel that all of us, whether on this forum or Facebook or wherever, would do well to state how we feel in conversations like this and then just bow out unless someone asks us a clarifying question that isn't confrontational.† At least then you know they are genuinely interested in your view.† I have to do this constantly at work when we discuss issues because I work with a very liberal minded Dutch lady and a somewhat militant black lady.† My views are rarely appreciated.† I care about them, though, and keep my mouth shut after I state what I believe and why.† I won't poison our working relationships by arguing with them which probably wouldn't change them anyway.

Why don't we apply this to our personal online experiences as well?† If you don't agree, state your side and get out.† At least you get to share your side.† Even if someone is clearly Biblically wrong, it isn't our job to make them see the truth.† (We can't even decide what is Biblical truth as humans anyway!)† Just give your side and let them think about it.† If they respond in an aggressive way, then you just leave it there.† You spoke what you feel is truth.† Nothing more needs to be said, right?

That's alldat's words of wisdom (or idiocy) for Feb. 21, 2018 (or 21 Feb. 2018 for you Europeans).† lol!

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I might have decided, or maybe not, that I should or shouldn't, depending on the issue or non-issue, to possibly share or not share, any thoughts, opinions, or facts (that might not be deemed factual by some), due to possible fear of any misinterpretation or retribution.
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ishmael81

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PostSubject: Re: Well this is awkward....   Thu Feb 22, 2018 6:34 pm

So messiahen77 messaged me right after this it looks like and after a few days in prayer I decided to check the board and found this thread. I suppose I owe something of an explanation to the board.†

For several months Iíve felt that we as Christians treat others poorly - specifically Muslims and those in the homosexual community. Our churchís leadership team is working on creative ways to address this in our church and city. Then I come here and see exactly what weíre praying and working against.†

It was noble of me77 to apologize to me, as well as you all. However, I may not be so much. I donít apologize for what I said or for abruptly leaving. I think we are failing if we treat others the way that post was going.†

Iíll also add that Iíve been praying about what to give up. Iím working full time, sitting for licensure for work in a few months, going to school, serving on the worship team and leadership team at church, attending a weekly small group and mentoring two other men. Oh and Iím married with two kids.†

When all this went down, I took it as a sign that it was time for me to leave the community. I always felt welcome, even if my views werenít. I was surprised me77 reached out to me and am thankful for it.†

I havenít decided if Iím coming back, so donít get excited (about either option I suppose) but am praying about it.†

I hope this clarifies things. Blessings.
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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: Well this is awkward....   Fri Feb 23, 2018 3:34 pm

Thank you for the clarification Ish.† I totally understand if you don't feel like you can do it now, just please don't delete your account.† You will certainly be missed if you decide that CHM doesn't fit into you life right now, and will always be welcome back.

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rockerVu2



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PostSubject: Re: Well this is awkward....   Fri Feb 23, 2018 4:06 pm

Thanks for your clarification Ishmael.

Yep, you'll be missed on CHM when you may decide not to come back.
We hope you stay.
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Well this is awkward....   Sun Feb 25, 2018 7:20 am

First, let me say that your views have always been welcomed even if they were not accepted by everyone.† If they were not welcomed, Ish, they would have been deleted or you banned.† That never happened.† Don't make the mistake of believing that your views are not welcomed just because someone didn't change their views to yours.† You share your views and other share theirs.† This is part of being a community whether it is online or in real life.† I have never been in an environment where I agree with absolutely everyone about every detail.† It just won't happen.

Second, the door here will always be open to you, Ish. While we may not hold similar views on some topics, I respect you and consider you a friend.† When you get less busy, perhaps you will want to check back in.† We will be here.† Come home when you can, ya' hear?

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I might have decided, or maybe not, that I should or shouldn't, depending on the issue or non-issue, to possibly share or not share, any thoughts, opinions, or facts (that might not be deemed factual by some), due to possible fear of any misinterpretation or retribution.
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messiaen77

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PostSubject: Re: Well this is awkward....   Wed Feb 28, 2018 10:21 am

Hey guys, I wanted to say thanks for the kind words and forgiveness.†

Topshot, sorry, I'm not allowed to go to Carmel--my wife is afraid I'll get stuck in a roundabout and never make it home again.

Xid, the whole "band of brothers" thing is one of the reasons I'm back.† Truth is, I kinda need you guys.† So no guilt trip at all, although my family is planning a trip to Amish country in a couple of weeks, so there's the quilt trip...

G/F--not your fault AT ALL.† You keep posting whatever you feel like sharing, and I promise not to bite your head off.† Deal? Very Happy † The thing that made me feel so bad about the way I handled things was that this is a great and safe place for people to share whatever is on their hearts and minds (which we all need), and I felt like I damaged something that I treasure.† I completely agree with what alldat said above.† I have no ill will toward you in any way and while I think those memes were an oversimplification of the issues (let's face it, what meme isn't?), I don't think there was anything offensive or abusive about them and IMO, they should not have been pulled by FB.

rockerVu2, I appreciate your words.† I wasn't really hiding, I just needed to get away and get my head on straight.† I am happy and proud to be a part of this family.†

Anyway, glad to be back with my peeps.
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