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Samson

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Tue Mar 21, 2017 8:01 pm

Without knowing everything that is going on, can I suggest that before you start looking for an opening, that you first find a church that you're most comfortable with? You never know what doors might open if you start small.

Peace out.
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Wed Mar 22, 2017 7:59 pm

All I know is that I feel all used up, alone, like a failure, and just can't pray anymore. I don't know what to ask. My wife and I are going through this together. We don't feel like we have anyone to talk to about this--especially in our church. Despite praying, no real answers seem to come and I am tired of feeling this way. I feel like God has given up on us and I am almost ready to give up on Him.

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Driven

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Wed Mar 22, 2017 8:37 pm

Far from me to tell you what to do, but if God's not showing you anything specific, then he may want you to do something different that's still within his will. Maybe it means going for a different job, maybe it means moving. I don't know. And that's much more easily said than done. But I'm putting it out there as a possibility.

That said, I feel sad that you feel sad. I don't have any special words or magic powers that will make the struggle go away. My prayer life is somewhat empty these days, but I'll try to remember to intercede for you and Jim and others here. If I could give you guys a hug, I would.
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topshot rhit



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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Wed Mar 22, 2017 10:16 pm

Personally, I'd give your notice and start attending a different church. I'm guessing your pay as youth pastor is not that much, and I'd have to think there's some other church in the area you could at least volunteer at for a while.

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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Wed Mar 22, 2017 11:28 pm

Chris, you and my Mom have a little in common. She's a giver of herself. She gives until she has nothing left to give. Several years ago, she gaveTOO much time to her Sunday school students.She was the only one volunteering to do SS and thePastor at the time, though thankful for her, begged her to do a little more each Sunday and she would always comply. The problem was, she was giving but not getting. Her marriage was failing, she was no longerclose to God,and other problems crept into her life, and she really needed a break and start being ministered to.


I agree withDriven, Topshot, and others here. It would really be healthy for you andHolly if you had some time away from it and began to be ministered TO for a while. You're experiencing stress beyond what you should be dealing with. This time should be for YOU now... at least until you feel ready to again minister.
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Xid

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Thu Mar 23, 2017 9:24 am

Proverbs 16:9:
The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.

Plan your way.
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messiaen77

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Thu Mar 23, 2017 9:44 am

Guilty/Forgiven wrote:
Chris, you and my Mom have a little in common. She's a giver of herself. She gives until she has nothing left to give. Several years ago, she gaveTOO much time to her Sunday school students.She was the only one volunteering to do SS and thePastor at the time, though thankful for her, begged her to do a little more each Sunday and she would always comply. The problem was, she was giving but not getting. Her marriage was failing, she was no longerclose to God,and other problems crept into her life, and she really needed a break and start being ministered to.


I agree withDriven, Topshot, and others here. It would really be healthy for you andHolly if you had some time away from it and began to be ministered TO for a while. You're experiencing stress beyond what you should be dealing with. This time should be for YOU now... at least until you feel ready to again minister.
At the risk of copyright infringement, let me just say BFB, we have a winner! That is an excellent point Jim! Chris, from the sounds of things you are in a really toxic situation that you need to get out of or it is going to kill you. Maybe not physically, but spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Sun Mar 26, 2017 9:14 pm

I have decided to meet with our deacons, explain the situation, and ask for advice. I do not wish to be let go from the church. I would rather resign. I have had FOUR services this month with no youth showing up. I do not know what to do anymore.

If they ask me to stay on until we find our pastor, for which I am NOT being considered for due to "lack of experience", I will. Otherwise, it is time to hand in my resignation and figure out what I need to do financially to pick up the slack of the loss of one of my two jobs. I can't and won't keep feeling like a failure and making myself sick. I need something different. While part of me just wants to quit serving, quit church, and quit on the faith completely, I know that I would never be satisfied. I just need a new place.

I do feel that God has started warning me. I've had some vivid dreams about the circumstances. The most recent one had me, my current youth, and my wife out on the streets of some city at night. We were being chased by a ravenous hungry tiger. The tiger's name was "Church". It is kind of silly, but I know that the "young men will have visions, and the old men will dream dreams". It was more than ironic that Church was trying to eat us. It is also ironic that in the Bible that Satan is seen as a lion seeking whom he might devour. OK, he could be a tiger as well, right? At least, that's what I got out of it.

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Driven

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Sun Mar 26, 2017 9:27 pm

Yeesh, those are some scary dreams. Guess you're an old man now Razz

I think you are right in deciding to hand in your resignation. It hurts, but letting go seems to be the best way to go. God will take care of the rest of the circumstances, even though it may not seem that way.
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon Mar 27, 2017 6:22 am

Quote :
Guess you're an old man now

Laying all jokes aside, there is truth to that. I am far closer to 50 than I am my teens or even my thirties. When you look at the life expectancy of the American male, then this ride is over half done. I'd call that old. I am not ancient but hope to be someday! Smile

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon Mar 27, 2017 8:53 am

alldatndensum wrote:
I have decided to meet with our deacons, explain the situation, and ask for advice. I do not wish to be let go from the church. I would rather resign. I have had FOUR services this month with no youth showing up. I do not know what to do anymore.

If they ask me to stay on until we find our pastor, for which I am NOT being considered for due to "lack of experience", I will. Otherwise, it is time to hand in my resignation and figure out what I need to do financially to pick up the slack of the loss of one of my two jobs. I can't and won't keep feeling like a failure and making myself sick. I need something different. While part of me just wants to quit serving, quit church, and quit on the faith completely, I know that I would never be satisfied. I just need a new place.

I do feel that God has started warning me. I've had some vivid dreams about the circumstances. The most recent one had me, my current youth, and my wife out on the streets of some city at night. We were being chased by a ravenous hungry tiger. The tiger's name was "Church". It is kind of silly, but I know that the "young men will have visions, and the old men will dream dreams". It was more than ironic that Church was trying to eat us. It is also ironic that in the Bible that Satan is seen as a lion seeking whom he might devour. OK, he could be a tiger as well, right? At least, that's what I got out of it.

I will definitely pray about your situation. I have a friend in the same situation who feels it's his cross to bear to stay in a church situation like that. As far as the dreams go it's not silly at all. I get dreams from God a lot and have been recently about leaving my job so I definitely understand to some small degree. I fast at times for other people and I feel I need to fast again sooner than later and I'll be fasting for you.
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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon Mar 27, 2017 2:24 pm

I fully believe God gives us dreams. Not "night before chili and cornbread dreams", but dreams you know in your heart were from God.


Quote :
It was more than ironic that Church was trying to eat us.

I won't go into my opinions on today's institute we call "church", but if it wasn't for quietly leaving the local guilt-inducing, buried-in-debt churches and meeting at home with a small body of believers for the last 8 years... I would have been overwhelmed with guilt at what I wasn't doing, or what I was doing wrong all the time. I know there are many good churches out there, I just haven't found one that teaches actual Grace without guilt.

I still say you need a break from it all for a while. When you know you're ready again and hear God's voice, then follow whatever door He opens and go teach Grace Very Happy
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ishmael81

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon Mar 27, 2017 3:59 pm

alldatndensum wrote:
I have decided to meet with our deacons, explain the situation, and ask for advice. I do not wish to be let go from the church. I would rather resign. I have had FOUR services this month with no youth showing up. I do not know what to do anymore.

If they ask me to stay on until we find our pastor, for which I am NOT being considered for due to "lack of experience", I will. Otherwise, it is time to hand in my resignation and figure out what I need to do financially to pick up the slack of the loss of one of my two jobs. I can't and won't keep feeling like a failure and making myself sick. I need something different. While part of me just wants to quit serving, quit church, and quit on the faith completely, I know that I would never be satisfied. I just need a new place.

I do feel that God has started warning me. I've had some vivid dreams about the circumstances. The most recent one had me, my current youth, and my wife out on the streets of some city at night. We were being chased by a ravenous hungry tiger. The tiger's name was "Church". It is kind of silly, but I know that the "young men will have visions, and the old men will dream dreams". It was more than ironic that Church was trying to eat us. It is also ironic that in the Bible that Satan is seen as a lion seeking whom he might devour. OK, he could be a tiger as well, right? At least, that's what I got out of it.

Out of those three paragraphs, the sentence I highlighted struck me the hardest. When I read it I can't help but think of the 40 years Moses spent in the wilderness before God made him the father of the Israelite nation.

My point is that you feeling like a failure and you being a failure are two very, very different things. You remain obedient and soon (hopefully not 40 years!) God will open a door.

As far as your dream, I believe you. I had a dream when I was 17 that I would one day enter the ministry and go to school to become a pastor. I had three people tell me I shouldn't do it. Three current pastors that said no. But I kept believing God had something for me and I start school this fall to become a pastor. And my current pastor is already delegating some things to me to help mentor me along the way.

I've said it before. God may not be withholding something good from you; he may be protecting you from something horrible. IF you ended up the head pastor of this church and a year down the road it imploded, then what? Where would you pastor?
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Tue Apr 18, 2017 6:07 am

I have a trial sermon at a small church out in the country on the 30th. I am also sending a resume to another church about the size of mine about 25 miles away. Please pray that, if either of these are where God wants me, that I would get these. If not, close these doors quickly.

Thanks!

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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Tue Apr 18, 2017 10:00 am

Praying
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messiaen77

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Thu Apr 20, 2017 2:16 pm

Praying my friend.
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rockerVu2

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon Apr 24, 2017 3:46 pm

Praying for you.
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rockerVu2

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon May 01, 2017 8:48 am

How was the trial church in the small church yesterday?
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon May 01, 2017 8:10 pm

I think it went very well. The church is small, and I felt like I was stepping back in time 30 years. They used old "shaped note" southern gospel hymnals and everyone spoke with a thick southern accent.

I don't know if this is where the Lord is leading me or not. If it is, I don't want to miss it. But, I know that to grow this church you are going to need people to move to the area or have the other 5 churches on that same road close up. There is little room for outreach. I'd just be keeping a church going. While I don't mind that for more pastoral experience, I don't know that I am the best choice for this situation.

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topshot rhit



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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon May 01, 2017 10:16 pm

That doesn't sound promising. You seem too outreach oriented for such a box.

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you should be concerned about your own."
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ishmael81

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Tue May 02, 2017 8:40 am

I agree with topshot. Some are meant to maintain the flock; some are meant to bring in more sheep. You strike me as a gatherer.
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messiaen77

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Tue May 02, 2017 10:27 am

Yeah, but who knows what God's got in store. Continuing to pray.
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Tue May 02, 2017 4:05 pm

messiaen77 wrote:
Yeah, but who knows what God's got in store. Continuing to pray.



I am trying, but my patience level is low. I'm tired from no definite answers still.

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messiaen77

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Wed May 03, 2017 10:38 am

Totally get it.
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messiaen77

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Tue Jul 11, 2017 6:30 am

Any new news?
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