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rockerVu2

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:05 am

You both are in my prayers.
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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:46 pm

alldatndensum wrote:
PLEASE pray for my wife and I.  We've been dealt a lot to deal with this past week and was added more garbage to it on Saturday night.  I am hurt, angry, and still just as discouraged.  Heaven seems silent and billions of miles away. 

I won't say any more because I don't want to be a "Debbie Downer".

Sad to hear, will definitely say a prayer for you both.

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messiaen77

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon Feb 20, 2017 4:31 pm

I'll pray brother.  If you need to vent, feel free to send me a message here or FB.
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Sun Feb 26, 2017 9:25 am

Our church is voting on their first ministerial candidate today.  No, it isn't me.  I don't think that this man that is being presented will be voted in, however.  There are a lot of folks that just don't like him.  With the way our church is set up, a new pastoral candidate is picked and presented by the search committee.  We get to hear that candidate a few times and do a Q&A session with him.  Then, we vote a few weeks later.  The candidate must get 75% of the votes to become our minister.

So, its a big day!

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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:08 am

Let us know how it goes.

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rockerVu2

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Sun Feb 26, 2017 1:08 pm

Yep, let us know how it goes.
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Sun Feb 26, 2017 9:39 pm

The pastoral candidate did NOT get the votes needed to be confirmed as our pastor.  So, the search committee will go back and pull another candidate to present and this starts again.

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MikeInFla

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon Feb 27, 2017 5:04 am

alldatndensum wrote:
The pastoral candidate did NOT get the votes needed to be confirmed as our pastor.  So, the search committee will go back and pull another candidate to present and this starts again.
Now this is just me being selfish but if the guy didn't make the cut and then they came asking me to apply I would say "Oh, no thanks" and politely decline. But, like I said, that would be me being spiteful and selfish.
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ishmael81

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon Feb 27, 2017 2:40 pm

So does this mean you are still in the running since they have to present a new candidate? What if they have to go through 6 candidates to find someone? That'll take months!
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon Feb 27, 2017 6:02 pm

ishmael81 wrote:
So does this mean you are still in the running since they have to present a new candidate? What if they have to go through 6 candidates to find someone? That'll take months!



Somewhere in the pile of resumes, I am in the running. 

If it takes months, then that is what it will take.  We've already been without for 5 months.  Some churches literally take years to find the pastor they feel they want or need.  So, all of us will be getting an exercise in patience.

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messiaen77

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Tue Mar 07, 2017 10:46 am

That's one thing i don't miss about being a Baptist--the factions that develop and try to control the pastoral hiring process.  Continuing to pray for you guys.
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Wed Mar 08, 2017 9:50 pm

I don't know how long this can go on.  While we continue the search for a pastor, it feels like our church is dying.  My younger families that are left after the split are now mostly disengaged.  My youth are apathetic.  My numbers of them are abyssal.  Without leadership, the church is quickly dropping and I don't know if it will come back from the edge of this ravine.  I become more and more discouraged and struggle with deciding to stay or resign.  I struggle with just quitting on the faith and just being like everyone else.  I know--its wrong, but I don't want to lie to all of you.  I am still in the word daily and praying, but I get more weary with no answers coming.  I don't know how long I can or will keep this up before I have to do something different.

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Xid

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Wed Mar 08, 2017 11:38 pm

You're continually in my prayers!
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rockerVu2

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Sun Mar 12, 2017 1:34 pm

It's so sad when a church is dying.
I hope at one day this church we be full of new life and energy to go for it.
Praying.
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon Mar 13, 2017 8:03 am

I hope so and believe that the Lord isn't done with us yet.  If He is done with this church, I pray that a better one springs up here in the future.

I got to preach here yesterday.  My topics were "Bring The Children To Me" for the AM service.  It was, what I feel, to be the plan to bring us back to life.  Target families with younger children.  Do VBS, backyard Bible clubs, movie nights, send area kids to camp, etc.  Target these families monthly.  Do parents' nights out so area parents can drop off their children so that they can get dinner and a movie alone for a date night.  Build a men's and women's ministry, but focus on those kids.

Last night, my topic was "Fan Versus Follower".  Fans may support a team, but they aren't followers until they get into the game.  I was calling out our church to get out of the pew and DO something to impact their neighborhood.  If we aren't, then just let the church die.  Yes, I said that!

I am still struggling with wanting to walk away from church work and the faith; but in that, God keeps whispering that He indeed does love me.  It makes me feel insane with wanting to quit and learning that God loves ME.  Its weird, but at least I am feeling something more than just discouragement and feeling low.  It may be more bi-polar in thought.  However, it beats feeling nothing!

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Xid

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon Mar 13, 2017 9:55 am

A few years ago our church started focusing on men.  The thought is that if the men can be reached, then the family will follow.
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rockerVu2

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon Mar 13, 2017 4:43 pm

I can't believe God is done with churches how big or small they might be.
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messiaen77

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Tue Mar 14, 2017 12:10 pm

alldatndensum wrote:
I hope so and believe that the Lord isn't done with us yet.  If He is done with this church, I pray that a better one springs up here in the future.

I got to preach here yesterday.  My topics were "Bring The Children To Me" for the AM service.  It was, what I feel, to be the plan to bring us back to life.  Target families with younger children.  Do VBS, backyard Bible clubs, movie nights, send area kids to camp, etc.  Target these families monthly.  Do parents' nights out so area parents can drop off their children so that they can get dinner and a movie alone for a date night.  Build a men's and women's ministry, but focus on those kids.

Last night, my topic was "Fan Versus Follower".  Fans may support a team, but they aren't followers until they get into the game.  I was calling out our church to get out of the pew and DO something to impact their neighborhood.  If we aren't, then just let the church die.  Yes, I said that!

I am still struggling with wanting to walk away from church work and the faith; but in that, God keeps whispering that He indeed does love me.  It makes me feel insane with wanting to quit and learning that God loves ME.  Its weird, but at least I am feeling something more than just discouragement and feeling low.  It may be more bi-polar in thought.  However, it beats feeling nothing!
Good for you!  It does seem weird those conflicting feelings, but I think it is God reminding you of your identity in him as being Beloved and that is the thing that you should focus on.  Circumstances change, God's love for us does not.  I hope you are getting ready to come out of these circumstances and will keep praying for you.


Xid wrote:
A few years ago our church started focusing on men.  The thought is that if the men can be reached, then the family will follow.
Hmm, interesting.  Statistics show that it is typically women who are driving/dragging men into church attendance so if we can get us men to take responsibility for getting our butts in church, then that will strengthen the family connection.
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ishmael81

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Tue Mar 14, 2017 1:43 pm

messiaen77 wrote:
Quote :
Xid
Quote :
A few years ago our church started focusing on men.  The thought is that if the men can be reached, then the family will follow.
Hmm, interesting.  Statistics show that it is typically women who are driving/dragging men into church attendance so if we can get us men to take responsibility for getting our butts in church, then that will strengthen the family connection.
It does make some sense. There's at least two different couples in our church that the wife and kids come but the husband does not.
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon Mar 20, 2017 6:18 am

I was dealt a major blow last night.  The search committee for our church told me that I was not even being looked at as a candidate.  My "lack of experience" was why.  What do they consider the last almost 8 years serving in their church?  Target practice?  While I should probably feel relieved with all the currents and undercurrents of drama we've had, I am feeling hurt, rejected, and feel more than ever like just giving up.

Why?  When I started here in 2009, I had a group of around 20 kids.  Various changes had that number drop and rise, drop and rise.  Through all the drama, the loss of our pastor,  and the other church splitting off our ours, I have an available 5 youth.  Two of them have never taken an active part.  Of the remaining 3, I can't count on any of them to be in church (except for Sunday School) on a regular basis.  Part of it is they work or don't drive and parents won't bring them or have them call us to come and pick up--which we'd gladly do.

So, the Lord is gonna have to send me a life raft as my hopelessness in this situation grows every time I am prepared to teach and no one shows up.  That's happened a couple of times this month.  It won't be long until this church doesn't need me anymore in my opinion as we complete the transition to an old persons congregation that is tired and dying.  So, forgive me for putting this out there, but I see very little hope right now.  I need something new for me and my wife.  She is ready for me to resign and us walk away from service altogether.  I know that neither of us would be satisfied in that as deep down we know that God called us.  It is just hard having opportunities come that you can't take or get pulled out from under you when you know that it is just a matter of time before they don't need you where you are.  I think they only keep us on now because we still don't have a pastor and I am on staff and can handle some of the things he would. 

Nice hopeless way to start your day, huh?  Bah, humbug.....

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ishmael81

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon Mar 20, 2017 8:35 am

Have you considered a sabbatical? You could resign from your current church and then when you interview at another, just explain that you've been serving for 8 years and felt God wanted you to take a sabbatical for (whatever amount of time, 3 months, a year, whatever).

That way, you get out of a bad situation but can still talk with a church that's alive and growing about serving there.
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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon Mar 20, 2017 10:14 am

My opinion:  All signs point to move on.
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rockerVu2

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon Mar 20, 2017 10:35 am

I pray and pray if God will show you and your wife His way.
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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon Mar 20, 2017 2:40 pm

Xid wrote:
My opinion:  All signs point to move on.

My thoughts as well.  I'm surprised (and frankly impressed) that you have stuck it out as long as you have.  I like Ish's idea of possibly taking a "break" from ministry and not just "quitting completely".  It seems like the entire situation (at your church) has just worn down your spirit and crippled your usually great outlook.

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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Uncertain times   Mon Mar 20, 2017 8:03 pm

Quote :
It seems like the entire situation (at your church) has just worn down your spirit and crippled your usually great outlook.

That goes without saying, but you are right.  I haven't hit rock bottom, but I feel the slippery slope.


Quote :
Have you considered a sabbatical? You could resign from your current church and then when you interview at another, just explain that you've been serving for 8 years and felt God wanted you to take a sabbatical for (whatever amount of time, 3 months, a year, whatever).

Quote :
My opinion:  All signs point to move on.

I agree that it is time to move on.  The sabbatical sounds nice, but I don't know how to NOT work in a church.  I've been doing this for the better part of 17 years.  I think I would like to slide from this post to a new position.  Sadly, there isn't a really good way to look for church openings.

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