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 Jeff Foxworthy anyone???

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drumdude
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alldatndensum
sabidoo
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sabidoo

sabidoo


Number of posts : 2069
Age : 56
Localisation : Carthage, TN
Registration date : 2007-04-28

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PostSubject: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeSun Sep 09, 2007 11:22 pm

I have spent the last 39 years proud of my
redneck heritage. Last night, I realized that I really wasn't a
redneck....until the following story took place. I will post it in Jeff
Foxworthy language so all can enjoy..... Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? Icon_wink








You might be a redneck if:






Your sitting in the living room, surfing the internet when a movement
in the kitchen catches your eye.....and you realize there is a POSSUM
watching what your doing.













After nearly soiling my panties, I yelled at the little critter and he
ran behind my kitchen cabinets. I left a full box of rat poison for him
to eat when I went to bed. This morning, the entire box of poison had
been eaten. NOW, with my luck, he will die and begin to stink in an
inaccessible recess of my house.
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alldatndensum
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alldatndensum


Number of posts : 23441
Age : 54
Localisation : Tennessee
Registration date : 2007-01-30

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PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 10, 2007 7:18 am

But, maybe possums are immune to rat poison. He could become your new pet!

_________________
I might have decided, or maybe not, that I should or shouldn't, depending on the issue or non-issue, to possibly share or not share, any thoughts, opinions, or facts (that might not be deemed factual by some), due to possible fear of any misinterpretation or retribution.

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sabidoo

sabidoo


Number of posts : 2069
Age : 56
Localisation : Carthage, TN
Registration date : 2007-04-28

Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 10, 2007 1:28 pm

alldatndensum wrote:
But, maybe possums are immune to rat poison. He could become your new pet!

If the rat poison fails, I will switch to .22 caliber lead poisoning.....Twisted Evil
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alldatndensum
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alldatndensum


Number of posts : 23441
Age : 54
Localisation : Tennessee
Registration date : 2007-01-30

Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 10, 2007 3:32 pm

Quit playin' possum!!!

_________________
I might have decided, or maybe not, that I should or shouldn't, depending on the issue or non-issue, to possibly share or not share, any thoughts, opinions, or facts (that might not be deemed factual by some), due to possible fear of any misinterpretation or retribution.

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Staybrite

Staybrite


Number of posts : 23373
Age : 56
Localisation : Arizona Desert
Registration date : 2007-02-08

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PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 10, 2007 7:29 pm

I had to chase a possum out of our neighbors garage one time (she is a single mother). I couldn't scare him out. No matter what I did he just stood there and hissed at me. So I got a heavy glove, and forced him into a bucket, where I promptly dumped him in the feild behind our neighbors house.

_________________
"I used to be indecisive.......... Now I'm not sure."
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drumdude

drumdude


Number of posts : 875
Age : 29
Localisation : right behind you
Registration date : 2007-04-30

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PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 10, 2007 8:12 pm

wow never tried messin with a possum of course never had to but oh well Smile
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rockerVu2

rockerVu2


Number of posts : 16553
Age : 94
Registration date : 2007-02-09

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PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeTue Sep 11, 2007 8:05 am

A rat as pet?
Hmmm I have to move.
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Guilty/Forgiven

Guilty/Forgiven


Number of posts : 9927
Age : 54
Localisation : Yucca Valley, CA
Registration date : 2007-05-18

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PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeTue Sep 11, 2007 10:01 am

We aint got no possums where I'm a livin', but my son caught a scorpion 2 weeks ago and we've been feeding it praying mantis'.
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topshot rhit




Number of posts : 3869
Localisation : Indiana
Registration date : 2007-01-30

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PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeTue Sep 11, 2007 12:55 pm

You must have a surplus of mantis in CA. Don't see them all that often here.

I want to know just what sort of "house" Mr. Redneck is living in that there's room for a possum to run behind the cabinets. Shocked

_________________
"If you are not concerned about your neighbor's salvation,
you should be concerned about your own."
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Staybrite

Staybrite


Number of posts : 23373
Age : 56
Localisation : Arizona Desert
Registration date : 2007-02-08

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PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeTue Sep 11, 2007 1:44 pm

apologetixfreak wrote:
... we've been feeding it praying mantis'.

If it's plural wouldn't that be praying mantii?Tongue

topshot wrote:
You must have a surplus of mantis in CA. Don't see them all that often here.

I have been told that praying mantiseses (mantii? Tongue ) are very susceptible to weather differences. We had a few hundred in an aquarium at one time, and a bunch of the babys got out. We were worried that we had introduced and non-indigenous species into our ecosystem, and I was a little worried for a day or so. The science teacher who had given them to us (to watch over the school break) told us not to worry, that 99.9% would not survive our winter (which are not even all that cold).

--

_________________
"I used to be indecisive.......... Now I'm not sure."
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Guilty/Forgiven

Guilty/Forgiven


Number of posts : 9927
Age : 54
Localisation : Yucca Valley, CA
Registration date : 2007-05-18

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PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeTue Sep 11, 2007 3:52 pm

Quote :
If it's plural wouldn't that be praying mantii

Ha ! That crossed my mind when I was typing that too !
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Staybrite

Staybrite


Number of posts : 23373
Age : 56
Localisation : Arizona Desert
Registration date : 2007-02-08

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PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeTue Sep 11, 2007 8:06 pm

apologetixfreak wrote:
Quote :
If it's plural wouldn't that be praying mantii

Ha ! That crossed my mind when I was typing that too !

Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? 2 Well I figured it would be good for a laugh.

Anyword on what happened with your opposum Sabidoo?

_________________
"I used to be indecisive.......... Now I'm not sure."
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sabidoo

sabidoo


Number of posts : 2069
Age : 56
Localisation : Carthage, TN
Registration date : 2007-04-28

Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeTue Sep 11, 2007 9:36 pm

UPDATE:

The critter is STILL alive and well, after eating 2 boxes of rat poison. The only other alternative is lead poisoning.
Alldat was here earlier and when he opened my front door, the little rascal was sitting there watching.
My brother in law is bringing me a .25 cal pistol and I will HOPEFULLY have a much "better" update by morning.....hehehe
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Guilty/Forgiven

Guilty/Forgiven


Number of posts : 9927
Age : 54
Localisation : Yucca Valley, CA
Registration date : 2007-05-18

Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeTue Sep 11, 2007 10:55 pm

Hey, do us a favor after you catch (or blow away) this thing... post it in the picture thread ! I wanna see him !
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sabidoo

sabidoo


Number of posts : 2069
Age : 56
Localisation : Carthage, TN
Registration date : 2007-04-28

Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeTue Sep 11, 2007 11:02 pm

apologetixfreak wrote:
Hey, do us a favor after you catch (or blow away) this thing... post it in the picture thread ! I wanna see him !

I will.
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alldatndensum
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alldatndensum


Number of posts : 23441
Age : 54
Localisation : Tennessee
Registration date : 2007-01-30

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PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeWed Sep 12, 2007 4:57 am

I still think that after feeding him that you should just get over it and name him Harold. He looked like a Harold to me. He would probably sleep with you at night when the weather turns cold. And, if any critters die on your property, Harold would probably help dispose of the remains.

I think it is the start of a beautiful relationship!

_________________
I might have decided, or maybe not, that I should or shouldn't, depending on the issue or non-issue, to possibly share or not share, any thoughts, opinions, or facts (that might not be deemed factual by some), due to possible fear of any misinterpretation or retribution.

https://christianhardmusic.niceboard.com/
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topshot rhit




Number of posts : 3869
Localisation : Indiana
Registration date : 2007-01-30

Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeWed Sep 12, 2007 7:51 am

alldatndensum wrote:
But, maybe possums are immune to rat poison.
A prophetic word from Alldat it seems. The toxins will likely mutate him into a giant semi eating beast! Run for your lives!

_________________
"If you are not concerned about your neighbor's salvation,
you should be concerned about your own."
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rockerVu2

rockerVu2


Number of posts : 16553
Age : 94
Registration date : 2007-02-09

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PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeWed Sep 12, 2007 9:56 am

Good idea to post a pic of Harold.
Maybe we need a Forum pet too ? lol!
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sabidoo

sabidoo


Number of posts : 2069
Age : 56
Localisation : Carthage, TN
Registration date : 2007-04-28

Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeWed Sep 12, 2007 4:47 pm

alldatndensum wrote:
I still think that after feeding him that you should just get over it and name him Harold. He looked like a Harold to me. He would probably sleep with you at night when the weather turns cold. And, if any critters die on your property, Harold would probably help dispose of the remains.

I think it is the start of a beautiful relationship!

I hope you're happy. Now even Yvonne is calling him (or her) Harold.

I think you have been smoking crack AGAIN. or listening to the Grease soundtrack too much....jocolor
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Staybrite


Number of posts : 23373
Age : 56
Localisation : Arizona Desert
Registration date : 2007-02-08

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PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeWed Sep 12, 2007 7:13 pm

♪♫ ...Grease is the Word, It's got groove it's got meaning... ♫♪

geek

_________________
"I used to be indecisive.......... Now I'm not sure."
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drumdude

drumdude


Number of posts : 875
Age : 29
Localisation : right behind you
Registration date : 2007-04-30

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PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeWed Sep 12, 2007 9:09 pm

so how is harold is he in heaven! or is sitting at your back door


Last edited by on Fri Sep 14, 2007 9:12 pm; edited 1 time in total
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rockerVu2

rockerVu2


Number of posts : 16553
Age : 94
Registration date : 2007-02-09

Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeThu Sep 13, 2007 7:40 am

I have lots of froggies in the pond.
Big ones, smaller ones I have given them the name Kermie.
So I have a pond full of Kermies.

But sabidoo how is "Harold" doing? :D

♫♪Grease is the worlddd ♫♪
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Guilty/Forgiven

Guilty/Forgiven


Number of posts : 9927
Age : 54
Localisation : Yucca Valley, CA
Registration date : 2007-05-18

Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeThu Sep 13, 2007 4:27 pm

This one's my favorite dead possum pic

Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? DeadPossum
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sabidoo

sabidoo


Number of posts : 2069
Age : 56
Localisation : Carthage, TN
Registration date : 2007-04-28

Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeThu Sep 13, 2007 6:45 pm

Harold has received a temporary stay of execution. I got a call to go back to work for a few days. The guns are ready though for my next night at home.....
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alldatndensum
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alldatndensum


Number of posts : 23441
Age : 54
Localisation : Tennessee
Registration date : 2007-01-30

Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Jeff Foxworthy anyone???   Jeff Foxworthy anyone??? I_icon_minitimeThu Sep 13, 2007 9:58 pm

Quote :
I think you have been smoking crack AGAIN. or listening to the Grease soundtrack too much....



Why this car is automatic...

It's systematic...

Why, it's hy-dromatic...

It's Greased Lightnin'!

_________________
I might have decided, or maybe not, that I should or shouldn't, depending on the issue or non-issue, to possibly share or not share, any thoughts, opinions, or facts (that might not be deemed factual by some), due to possible fear of any misinterpretation or retribution.

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